diary of a fun ruiner

NYE, Campbell Style

2012-01-05T18:41:00.001-06:00

We ended 2011 in true Campbell fashion – dramatic, followed by a trip to the ER. I’ve got to hand it to my kids – they really know how to make a statement.

Typically Ryder is the one who ends up in the ER due to his asthma but this time Cortland got to be a part of the action. And he tops all of Ryder’s trips in the last two years since he had a febrile seizure and a ride in an ambulance.

I am not well versed in seizures since no one I know has ever had one (that I’ve witnessed or was aware of) and therefore did not know that you NEVER put your finger in someone’s mouth when they are having one. This would have been valuable info for me since my first instinct was to put my finger in Cortland’s mouth to prevent him from swallowing his tongue. I’m sure the 911 dispatcher thought I was a grade A idiot when I told her, almost in tears, that he was about to bite my finger off. Clearly I seize all opportunities to look like an dumbass (no pun intended).

Thankfully, he was just fine and back to his shenanigans by the end of the day. I, however, may never fully recover from watching him have a seizure and being completely helpless. For those of you who deal with this regularly, I am truly sorry. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless when it comes to your children.

2012 has started off on a quiet note, which is fine with me. However, I’m waiting for something to happen. Five days in and still, nothing. Makes me nervous, people. I know these punks far too well to believe 2012 is going to run this smoothly for long.

Happy 2012, friends. I wish you health, joy, laughter and much love. Remember to appreciate each “season” of your life you are in – one day we’ll all look back and wish we were exactly where we are today.

XOXO

Lame Excuses

2011-12-28T23:36:00.001-06:00

The good news is, I’m not dead (I suppose that depends on who you ask). The bad news is, I’ve just been lazy and have been avoiding this blog like the plague.

I’ve missed a few opportunities to post in the last month, okay, almost two months, so here’s a quick recap.

Zach’s birthday – he’s old. 38 now. Still four years older than me and I like it like that.

Thanksgiving – fantastic holiday spent with some of my very favorite people in the whole United States of America.

Aidan’s birthday – 11 now and growing up entirely too fast for my liking. Before we know it he’ll be driving and our insurance will have doubled. Punk.

Christmas – Amazing like every year. So much fun when you have four punks to celebrate the holiday with. I totally get how it becomes so much more fun when you become a parent.

My Mom’s birthday – She would have been 65 today. She’s missed out on so much since she’s been gone and I will never be the same.

Emmerson’s losing teeth like she needs the money. Cortland is into everything and making me lose my mind, up in HERE, up in HERE. Ryder is wrestling now and that’s just, well, funny. Aidan is more obsessed with hunting today than he was yesterday and that makes me feel for his future wife. I feel her pain. Seriously. I feel you girl. Call me, we can shop.

I’d love to report that my house is in better shape than it’s ever been but the truth is our dogs hate our guts and ate part of our carpet in our bedroom. Sure, we’ve been planning on replacing the 22 year old carpet in there but we haven’t been ready to part with the lovely mauve, quite yet. On a happier note, I’ve convinced Zach that hardwood is the way to go and I see dark bamboo in my not so distant future. I love winning.

I’d also love to tell you that this holiday break was filled with crafts and baking and doing all sorts of neat stay-at-home mom kind of things but that’d be bold face lie. I did have the kids paint snowmen one day, and I did make chex mix but my plans for cookies, homemade cinnamon rolls and breakfast’s from scratch were just a figment of my imagination. I did manage to make four kick-ass Christmas ornaments, so that has to count for something, right? Pinterest has me feeling all crafty.

I haven’t been solving any crimes (which is a shame given my detective skillz), or completely reorganizing my home, or homeschooling my children, or writing my first book. I wish I could say that I’m totally caught up on Teen Mom 2 and all my Housewives but that hasn’t happened either. It’s called life and I’ve been living it and my kids have sucked the energy right out of me to do anything at the end of the day.

I have high hopes for 2012. I’ve got a list a mile long of things for my husband to do around the house and my resolution list is ridiculous and completely over-zealous. I like to think that in a matter of days I will wake up and do all of the things I thought about doing this year, all because I made a list.

I mean, after the hangover is gone and all.

I’m Right. Again.

2011-11-09T09:31:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you have to endure a night of pure hell, just to prove you’re right. At least I do. Especially when it comes to proving a point to Zach. Petty? Perhaps. But sometimes I need to remind him who’s boss around here.

Last weekend Zach had a friend in town to deer hunt so he spent a nice amount of quality time out where he hunts. He thought it would be a fantastic idea for the four punks and I to join them on Friday evening. We’re invited out often but I typically turn down this invitation because being cooped up in a cabin with four punks isn’t usually the most enjoyable way to spend a night.

Zach wouldn’t give up this time. Oh no, he talked about how much fun it would be, how the kids would love it, how I never come out. So I gave in and loaded up a suburban full of crap, which he felt was a ridiculous amount of stuff to take for one night (uh, hello? We have four kids. This is traveling light, pal). Oh, and three dogs. Luckily, the cat can survive for a night by herself.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind: we eat dinner about 6pm every night and the three small punks are in bed by 7:30. Mama doesn’t screw with this schedule because it works. And it is awesome.

Emmerson and Ryder decide that running around, screaming like a couple of crack heads is a perfectly acceptable way to behave when we arrive. Cortland wants to play his game of push mom and dad as hard as you can so they will pick you up. When he loses, he only wants to cry. And scream. Aidan just wants to talk. A lot. In a minute he manages to say “Dad” no less than 30 times. In typical fashion, the Campbell’s have arrived.

We eat dinner at 8pm. It’s spaghetti which three of four punks have declared they don’t like. There are tears and whining and complaining about dinner.

Finally, it’s time to put the short people to bed. Emmerson and Ryder snuggle up to watch a movie (because mama was smart enough to bring the portable DVD player), Aidan watches hunting with the big guys and I put Cort down for the night. This would have worked perfectly except there wasn’t a snow balls chance in hell Cort was going to go to bed. Instead, he screamed, at the top of his little lungs, for 20 minutes straight. Got him up for a bit, put him back down, more screaming, repeat. About 10 times. He finally fell asleep at midnight, in bed with Zach and I.

Then, because only I could be so lucky, Zach’s alarm went off at 4:30 (so he and Aidan could go hunting) and Cort was up again and there was no putting him back to bed.

I took advantage of this early morning by loading up the suburban with the endless amount of crap we brought so that when Emmerson and Ryder got up we could get the hell out of there.

It was a tough lesson for Zach to learn (and for me to teach) but I think he finally understands that I really do know best when it comes to our punks.

And now I have a free pass for whatever it is I don’t want to do, no questions asked. Winner.

Happy Halloween, From the Punks

2011-11-04T11:24:00.001-05:00

Daphne, a skeleton ghost (minus his mask), one little lobster and Bunko.

There was no way I was getting any more pictures from these punks – they had more important things to do than stand around for pictures. In the future I will be taking pictures a week in advance so I can get more than two.

Since you all know how I procrastinate, do not expect more than two pictures, taken with my phone, next year.

A Big, Fat, Hairy Mistake

2011-10-28T14:56:00.001-05:00

Some of you may remember a certain blog I wrote regarding Ryder and pulling his pants down in front of my friend. If you didn’t catch that one, go back and read it for a good laugh. I’ve learned that he will never cease to amaze, or embarrass, me.

Without thinking I titled that blog post, “My Little N*dist”. Not because he runs around without his clothes often but simply because I thought it was fitting, given the situation.

Let me tell you, that blog title was a GRADE A MISTAKE. The reason why? There are tons, tons I tell you, of freaks out there goggling “little nudists” and other such search words and guess who’s post pops up, pretty often? Yes, mine. Like every single day often. Seriously.

I’m sure I’ve been responsible for great pervert disappointment, all over the world, when they discover a funny story about one of my punks, not actual dirty material. I hope it’s like a punch in the junk.

So remember friends, you don’t ever want to use the “N” word in your blog titles.

This is has been a public service announcement.

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

2011-10-26T12:22:00.001-05:00

Zach has said, basically since Emmerson was born, that she is her mother’s child. While it is true, that I grew her in my belly and brought her into this world, I have always tried to downplay the hidden meaning in his words. However, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that she is in fact, her mother’s child.

Last weekend we loaded up the kids and headed to the most magnificent pumpkin patch of them all, Walter's Pumpkin Patch.

This is a snapshot of Emmerson wigging out on a simple teeter-totter. Notice the smiles on the boy’s faces and the look of fear on hers? Turns out this girl didn’t get her daddy’s love of rides, but her mama’s fear of them. And although I wouldn’t consider this a true “ride”, there was enough going on to freak her right out. For the record, I’d like to let everyone know my fear does not run deep enough that I can’t have a little fun on a teeter-totter. Even the big ones. Giddy up.

Here are the boys having a blast on the slides:

This is Emmerson on the slide:

Clearly, this girl is not into rides, slides, things that move fast and things that she doesn’t have control over. I pretty much fit into this category as well. One time Zach and his friend convinced me to go on the Mummy ride at Universal Studios. They said it was a kiddy ride and it wasn’t fast and that I would love it. There were lots of kids in line so I fell right into their little trap. Have any of you been on this flipping ride??? It’s in the dark and it goes frontward and backward and it’s fast and scary. I don’t know what was best, the picture the ride takes of everyone so you can see how stupid and scared you look (like I need any documentation of that around) or the fact that I spent the rest of the day throwing up. You know what those two got? Two big birds. Dicks.

One night at dinner Emmerson told us that they were doing some cool exercises in P.E. She got down on the floor and attempted to do a sit up, which was hilarious. Legs stretched out in front of her and barely raising herself off the floor. She defended herself by telling us she needed someone to hold her legs. That much we had gathered.

Now, I can do sit-ups and a lot of them. Put me in a muscle pump class and I can kick some muscle ass. Yoga? I’m bendy as can be. Sports? Negative. The only thing I did growing up was gymnastics and I just didn’t have the drive to stick with that. There was a time when I was about eight that I wanted to play soccer like my brother. However, one day I was bent over fixing the laces on my Barbie skates and my brother kicked a soccer ball as hard as he could from 20 feet away and hit me right in the face, knocking me over and inducing blood curdling screams. You know what my parents said? “That’s why you shouldn’t play soccer.” Apparently they recognized my lack of athletic ability at a young age and didn’t have the heart to tell me about it. This incident was an easy out for them.

Instead of sports I found my niche on the “Drinking Team” where I had a successful career and found myself team captain. All of my hard work was evident when I came home for winter break from KU and showed my parents how good I was a pool and darts. They were proud, as any good parents are of their successful offspring. They were not proud when I flunked out of school due to more concentration on fun, rather than actual school. This is one area I really hope that Emmerson and I are completely opposite.

Other areas we are exactly alike: we both like to sing and dance, we are both sassy, love great shoes, we get motion sick easily, we like to read and color, we are mother hens, rule followers and we both have attitudes the size of Texas. Oh, and we’re both funny. And smart. And cute.

It’s true, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, folks.

And Just Like That, He’s Four

2011-10-25T10:46:00.001-05:00

After numerous discussions about you staying little forever, you went ahead and had another birthday. We really need to work on our communication, little man.

You are now four years old and in preschool. I can’t figure out how it is possible that you have been all mine for four years already. Before I know it you are going to be driving and staying out past your curfew and dating girls that mommy doesn’t like. (Just so you know, mommy probably won’t be fond of any of the girls you date because none of them will ever be good enough for my little skeleton. I’m sorry, but it’s true.)

You are so full of life and love and kindness and you are truly one of a kind. You bring me endless laughter and I hope that as you grow up you will stay as weird and as funny as you are now. I also hope that all of your dreams come true and you can be a skeleton when you grow up but I don’t see how that gig is going to pay the bills. I love you endlessly but I don’t want you living at home when you’re 30, so I do hope you’ll keep your options open and consider college.

You manage to capture the hearts of everyone who knows you. It could be your hair, or perhaps it’s just the cool kid that you are. I like to think it’s a fine balance of both.

Or it could be the fact you get home from school and put on these skeleton pajamas every single day and wear spooky masks every chance you get. I have a feeling you will be working at a haunted house by the time you are seven.

Your love of all things scary, dragons, bugs and frogs is something I can’t really relate to but I do try to appreciate them. However, if you need help catching a frog you need to talk to Dad because I will be completely worthless, as you have already learned this past summer.

While I strive to be a good mom you often threaten that you are about to “fire me”. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that if you fire the mom things will go downhill quickly around here. Remember last week when I left dad in charge? You ate dinner at 8pm. I’d like you to keep that in mind the next time you consider letting me go.

You are my heart and soul and I can’t imagine loving you more than I already do. Yet, every day you do or say something that makes me fall even more in love with you. You are such a sweet boy and I am so proud of you and so thankful I get to call you mine.

Thank you for making the last four years of my life, four of the very best I’ve ever had.

Happy Birthday Ryder Grey.

Wyoming

2011-09-13T17:07:00.001-05:00

Because neither Zach or myself are quick studies, we decided to load up the kids and drive 13 hours to Wyoming over Labor Day weekend. Have you ever spent 13 hours in the car with four kids? Let me save you those 13 hours – stay home if you can’t fly.

The only thing worse than the kids fighting, whining and complaining was listening to Zach whine and complain every single time we had to stop. Since a favorite game our kids like to play is for one to claim to “not have to go” when we stop for the other three, it is inevitable that 15 miles down the road the lone ranger is having an emergency and we have to stop again. Zach took advantage of these stops by calculating how much time we had lost and our new ETA. That didn’t get annoying. At all.

We made our grand entrance, complete with a puppy in tow, much later than Mr.. Campbell had hoped for (thanks a lot pee-wetter's) but no blood was shed.

Our trip consisted of catching water iguanas (i.e. salamanders), a four wheeling accident, shooting guns, a puppy who had diarrhea in the cabin the entire time we were there, meltdowns (because we don’t leave home without them), delicious food, cold nights, bear hunting, shooting bows, one kid with a dog bite, checking bear baits and lots of laughs. I’m sure this is exactly how most of you envision a weekend away.

Apparently, we’re a little bit “redneck”.

I can’t imagine having these guys in my backyard. The husband plans to bring one home after his elk/antelope/bear hunt next week. He has it rough, I tell ya.

The princess and her daddy.

Running from the smelly bear bait. Have you ever smelled rotting cow/horse? Gag.

Ryder Grey.

Although there is not a single picture of me on this trip, I assure you, I was there. I played camp cook and I even got to sit with Zach one night while he bear hunted. We saw one bear and a cub whose mom was close behind, popping her jaw (for those of you unfamiliar with bears that can be a warning to the two idiots in the tree-stand). I wasn’t even scared until we had to get out of the tree stand, in the dark. That’s when I really considered the possibility of becoming bear bait.

I am pleased to report that despite the 347 restroom stops along the way, we survived the great Wyoming trip of 2011.

The Campbell’s. We love us some Wyoming.

I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

2011-08-30T09:10:00.001-05:00

This school gig has some benefits. I mean, who would have guessed this girl would be out of bed at six in the morning, after hitting the snooze button only once? It’s a miracle of sorts, really.

What I’ve learned in the two short weeks school has been in session is that I actually need a routine and having something to schedule around, i.e. school, works best for me. Clearly when left to my own device, there will be no routine and the only goal each day will be to see how late I can get the kids to sleep.

One of the best parts of this school business is the fact that we are now eating dinner between 6-6:30 and my punks are bathed and in bed by 7:30 every. Single. Night. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I don’t see Ryder about 3 more times before he actually goes to sleep for the night because it’s much more fun to screw with mom than to just go to bed. The point is, they are in bed for the most part and it is still early, in mom and dad terms.

I’m getting so much done during the day I don’t know who I am anymore. This house is undergoing some serious organization. Who knows what will happen when Ryder starts preschool next week and I have two mornings with just the baby and I?

I’m taking the world by storm, people. At this rate, Cortland will be potty trained by the time he’s 19 months old and the circles under my eyes will have disappeared because I’ll be getting regular sleep.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: School Rules.

Important Things I’ve Learned in 6 Years

2011-08-26T08:21:00.001-05:00

1. Getting in the last word, although not necessarily important, can be extremely rewarding.

2. It is perfectly acceptable to make the boys in this family take out the trash.

3. How to fill a cup or bottle to 4oz, exactly, without even looking. If I ever get a job bartending I’m certain this will come in exceptionally handy.

4. There are times when you just have to go to bed mad.

5. How to cook.

6. I will probably always find myself funnier than my husband does which is a true shame. For him.

7. My children will seize every opportunity to embarrass me. They’re overachievers like that.

8. Seeing how much laundry they can accumulate each week will always be a game my family likes to play with me. It’s a total blast too.

9. My green thumb isn’t really green. I’m confident there will be a point in my life that all of my plants and flowers will survive an entire season.

10. Making Zach think it’s his idea typically works in my favor.

11. Zach will never understand my need for numerous handbags and shoes.

12. I will never understand Zach’s need for the endless amount of hunting gear he’s accumulated and adds to frequently.

13. Partying is less fun when you have kids who wake up early. Or who still wake during the night. Talk about “Fun Ruiner's”. I’ve got a few.

14. I can drink an entire pot of coffee before 10am.

15. As long as I have kids living in my home there will be handprints on every single glass door in this house. Particularly right after I clean them.

16. I like to fly fish.

17. I like good pedicures more. By “good” I pretty much mean any pedicure that I am not giving to myself.

18. It’s possible to go through three and a half gallons of milk in a week.

19. Even if I vacuum or clean my floors every single day, as long as the punks live here, they will never stay clean.

20. It is quite possible to step, unknowingly, in dog poop and walk through your entire house before you realize what you’ve done.

21. It is not easy to blame other members in the family for said dog poop when their feet are either half of your size or twice as big.

22. Sleeping is clearly something my punks have yet to appreciate.

Mama Don’t Play

2011-08-24T10:02:00.001-05:00

Because sometimes, you have to show them who’s in charge.

(For the record, they put themselves in the dog kennel. What can I say? My kids are weird.)

Six Years.

2011-08-22T14:34:00.001-05:00

It’s been six years since my dad threw one of the best parties I’ve ever been invited to. And it just so happens that it’s also been six years since I went and got myself hitched to the best guy I ever loved. See how that works? Best party ever = wedding reception.

We’ve shared six full years together. They’ve been filled with laughter, tears, uncertainty at times, loss,celebration, frustration, ups and downs, joys and many good times. We’ve closed some doors and opened new ones. We’ve created new life. Said goodbye to loved ones. Celebrated new beginnings.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it~

This life. This love. Don’t mean nothing without you.

Happy #6.

Too School for Cool

2011-08-16T11:54:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of sending one of my punks to fifth grade and another to kindergarten. Do the math, people. I’ve got half of my crew at home with me now. This is not a bad thing.

Aidan is very particular when it comes to his footwear fashion. Since I am not into the “skater” style, I’m not typically a huge fan of his shoes, but what do I know? I’m not a skater, or 10 anymore. At any rate, he’s pretty hip in the world of fifth grade skaters.

Cleverly holding up “5” since he’s in fifth grade. On the outside, he looks calm, cool and collected. On the inside, he’s rolling his eyes that I want a picture and am making him do the number thing. He’ll thank me one day, like when we use this picture at his wedding to show how cool he’s always been. Please note, this picture does not reflect the “DC” backpack this little stud muffin uses to carry his gum wrappers, I-Touch (if he can ever find it) and papers.

Sending this punk to fifth grade was easy, considering it wasn’t his first rodeo. He was a little nervous, because who isn’t on the first day of school, but ready to go and clearly not interested in my pictures. He came home to report the first day was a success and that they “didn’t do much” which makes for a good day at school, in my book.

My hope for him this year is to continue making good grades, to be respectful of his teacher(s) and peers, to be a leader and make good choices, to learn a lot and to have lot’s of fun.

Next we sent off this punk for her first day of kindergarten.

I didn’t have her attempt to make a “K” with her fingers because , truthfully,we just didn’t have that kind of time. But because she’ll do what I want, I had her pose for a few pictures (it’s fun when they still play along with you, ya know?).

Dropping her off at school was relatively smooth sailing and I am happy to report there were no tears (from either of us). As soon as we walked into her classroom she found her mute button that we searched for all summer long, and lost the ability to recognize her name. Before we left she was able to find her name at the table but she had the mute button pressed. I wouldn’t be necessarily be complaining about that one if I was the teacher.

And because I am the “Fun Ruiner” and I take advantage of every opportunity to remind my children of this, the boys and I walked to the end of the cul-de-sac to get her off the bus. Clearly, we needed a picture of this.

Hopes for Emmerson this year include extending the respect she has for her teacher and peers to her mother, father and brothers, to learn a lot, and to come out of her shell since she tends to get shy.

School’s in session and this is one ~~happy~~ proud mama. I’m also pleased to report that in three weeks another punk bites the dust and starts preschool two mornings a week.

School rules!

Summa Time and the Livin’s Easy

2011-08-13T11:27:00.001-05:00

I’ve been a horribly neglectful blogger this summer. Which is a shame considering all we’ve done and the hell my punks have put me through. I’ve missed ample opportunities to share some really good stuff with you. For this, I apologize.

There was no routine this summer. The closet thing we got to a routine was the fact we woke up every day. And ate breakfast, and lunch and dinner. And the baby had a nap each afternoon. But other than that, we were pretty much winging it. This might surprise some of you who know me as a routine kind of gal. However, the rest of you who really know me, realize it’s much harder for me to implement a routine and stick with it than it is to teach my children to speak fluent Chinese.

It took me all summer to finally get the playroom under control again (remember my "winter project"?) Well, I had to do that all because my kids still have not grasped the concept of picking up the playroom. A true testament to an area in parenting I am not receiving any gold stars. However, it’s been clean for a week now and I am happy to report they are putting their things away. This probably has more to do with me acting like a drill sergeant than them caring about keeping it clean but when it comes down to it, I don’t give a damn about the “why” of it all.

We did spend a lot of time at different lakes this summer. Cheney Lake (which is like swimming in chocolate milk), Grand Lake, Wilson Lake, Bull Shoals, El Dorado Lake. We actually spent more time together as a family this summer than I think we ever have (which probably has a lot to do with me perusing the help wanted ads) because we spent every weekend on our boat. I’m optimistic that next summer will be even more fun since Cortalnd will be two. (He can be a little hot mess when he’s tired and he has to attempt to sleep in his life jacket.)

My point here is that while my children ran amuck and I considered going back to work I did manage to get a fabulous tan. I haven’t had one of those in a few years so that kind of makes up for all of my shortcomings this summer.

Emmerson took a dance class, Aidan attended wrestling camps. Ryder took up an active interest in coloring “scary guys” and Cortland learned to walk and is talking up a storm. Emmerson got a dog for her 5th birthday because Zach and I are insane. I chaired the 5th Annual Relay For Life of Maize. We celebrated the birth of friends’ new babies. One punk turned one, one turned five, another one turned 34. We cooked out, we slept late. There were many time-outs. And tears. And lot’s of fights.

In two days two of my punks will be starting school. One will be a big 5th grader and the other will be a kindergartener. Another punk will be starting preschool in September, two mornings a week. That leaves the baby and the mom. And the baby still takes morning naps which means I might actually get a little time to myself.

I plan on using this school year to figure out how to put together a good routine for next summer. And if I can’t do that, I’ll be using those quiet mornings to look for a summer job.

Five-Five, Figgity-Five

2011-08-09T21:12:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my sweet, overly sensitive, creative, animal loving little girl turned 5. Sunday night as I tucked her in bed for the last time as a four year old I got a little teary eyed because I’m a total sap like that.

Five just seems so big. And grown up. And how in the hell have five years passed since I gave birth to this little girl, anyhow? Tonight night we had “Meet Your Teacher” and in a week she starts KINDERGARTEN, people. I finally understand what my mom was talking about when she told me it goes by far too quickly. Five years has felt like two. I can’t even take this.

You are sweet and sassy, kind and caring, creative and loving. You love animals, coloring, organizing and playing with your babies. You want a horse and have your own dog. You often tell me you are going to be an “animal doctor” when you grow up. You like to write and draw pictures. You are cautious and shy, silly and a showoff.

I know I’m biased but I can’t help thinking you are such a neat little girl wrapped up in a darling little package and that has so much to offer this world. Watching you grow into your own person is one of the best parts of this whole motherhood gig. You amaze me every day, whether it’s a story you’ve created, using grown up words (not the bad ones, either), being a mother hen to your three brothers or having the meltdown of your life, there is something every single day.

And I am so grateful for you, little girl who isn’t quite so little anymore. I look forward to a relationship with you like I was blessed to have with my own mom. You melt my heart, inspire me, motivate me and encourage me to be a better mom and woman. I want you to grow up with healthy self-esteem and full of confidence. I want you to be full of life and happy. I want your life to be full of laughter and love. I want you to love yourself so you can truly love others. My hope is that you lead a good life, making good choices and to be a caring and compassionate adult. I think we’re on the right track.

I am proud of the little girl I get to call mine. You bring me endless joy, laughter, happiness, frustration, tears and lessons in patience. You are a part of me and are woven into my soul. There are times I tuck you into bed and cry, thanking God for giving me one of the very best parts of myself. I can’t imagine my life with out you and I can’t remember it before you.

Happy #5 little bird. I am forever proud of you.

XOXO-

Mommy

So Wonderful, So Marvelous

2011-07-05T14:17:00.001-05:00

Psst.

Go over to my cool mom friend, Michelle's blog where I wrote a guest post today. She just had a beautiful baby girl so she’s taking it easy from blogging for a day or 2. Then go back and read some of her previous posts because she’s funnier than shit and if she wasn’t far away in Ohio, we’d be drinking lots of wine together, pawning the kids off on our husbands and talking smack.

Congrats on your precious baby girl, Michelle! And thanks for letting me have a special spot on your blog.

Cortland Knox is 1!

2011-07-01T15:54:00.001-05:00

(You can thank your brother, Ryder, for eating part of your cake. He was more than happy to help.)

Cortland Knox, you little fox! How is it even possible that one whole year has passed since I met you for the first time? You are growing entirely too quickly for me; I’m hanging on to your babyness as long as I can since your dad says YOU ARE THE LAST ONE.

You’ve changed so much over the last year that I can hardly remember the tiny little baby you used to be. So many milestones to celebrate in just one year: rolling over, sitting up, feeding yourself, drinking from a cup, high fiving everyone, clapping your hands, crawling, pulling up, cruising, standing alone and attempting to walk. You are a babbling fool – dada, bubba, doggie, bye, hi, Belle, Ry. Still no “mama” in all that talking, which is pretty much ridiculous, but clearly I can’t make you or that would have been your first word.

You are such a sweet, happy boy and your giggles and smiles completely melt my heart. I love watching you learn and grow, even if it means my baby isn’t so much of a baby anymore.

You are so much fun, even if you like for me to visit you in the middle of the night, and you complete my heart. Mommy was so right when she told daddy we needed one more baby, and we all know how much mommy likes being right.

I thank God for you every day and am so grateful He gave you to us. You are one of the four sweetest blessings in my life and you have forever changed my world.

I love you and your sloppy, wet kisses and I can’t wait to see what you can do in the next year. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t pass as quickly as this one has, okay? You’re the last baby I get.

Happy first birthday Cortland Knox, you little fox. So happy you are mine.

Grand Lake

2011-06-17T14:17:00.001-05:00

Last weekend we loaded up the punks and headed down to Grand Lake with another couple and their punks. Between the two families there were eight punks to four adults, which sounds dangerous but turned out just fine. Apparently staying two days in a cabin at the lake makes your kids behave really well.

We made S’mores. On a grill. Tubed, wake-boarded, swam, fished, went for lot’s of boat rides, cooked out, and got lot’s of sun. There might not be anything better than spending a weekend at the lake with great friends.

Grace and Lucy

Grace, Ronan, Lucy and Emmerson

Ryder

Caleb and his friend Justin.

Emmerson and Grace

Caleb

Emmerson and Lucy, watching a movie on the screened-in porch.

Crashed minutes later.

Emmerson, Lucy and Grace

Lucy and Ryder, chilling on the back of the boat.

Emmerson and Ryder, exhausted on the ride home.

A Conversation With Ryder

2011-06-02T17:55:00.001-05:00

Ryder: If I get shot, that would break you heart?

Me: Of course it would.

Ryder: But you shouldn’t be sad that I gwowing.

Me: No?

Ryder: No, that’s what happens.

Me: You mean, your supposed to grow up and get big?

Ryder: Yep.

Me: But what happens when you aren’t my guy anymore?

Ryder: I’ll still be you guy.

Me: Will you still give me hugs and kisses and tell me you love me?

Ryder: Yep! And I won’t ever hate you again.

Me: Thanks dude.

Preschool Graduation.

2011-06-01T14:16:00.001-05:00

Preschool graduation. Big business around here.

I made 20 little caps, complete with tassels, for the big event (with thanks to my dear friend Sheryl who helped).

I made 65 of these little graduation pops. Excuse the green floral foam – I spray painted another one but the paint ate the foam.

We rushed around to get to school 45 minutes early, only to be locked out of the building. That was fun, but the story of my life.

4 punks before the ceremony.

Have you ever tried to get a picture with four kids?

One of which is a 30 pound 10-month old who doesn’t want to be held?

And a three year old boy who doesn’t care about standing still and smiling?

Talk about a cluster. At some point, you just call it good.

The graduate.

Best friends.

So now Emmerson is on her way to kindergarten, which means Ryder is on his way to preschool. Which in turn means this mom is looking forward to a couple of easy mornings this fall. Yahoo!

Ta-may-toe, Ta-mah-toe

2011-05-13T19:12:00.001-05:00

I know you’ve all been a patiently waiting for another Ryder story. The good news is that he doesn’t disappoint and I have story upon story to share. The bad news is that these stories typically have a common theme and that is, they embarrass the hell out of me.

Last week my brother decided to tag along with us to the zoo. (Let me tell you – it is awesome to have someone else push the stroller. It’s like a whole new experience when you just get to walk around and talk pictures and stuff. He is definitely invited on our next trip…if he’ll ever join us again.) Our first stop on our journey was to see the beloved chimps.

Of course, it’s the end of the school year so the zoo is packed with kids and parents and of course, Ryder only does things when he can embarrass me in front of large groups of people. Or teachers. Oh hell, who am I kidding? He likes to embarrass me in front of anyone.

You know how chimps sometimes have “issues” with their behinds? There was one in particular who looked as though she was in some serious need of some A & D ointment and perhaps some surgery to get things under control. And why would Ryder NOT notice this chimp and her problem, right?

As loud as he can, he yells, “Mama! Look at her pachina!” Which is what Thing 1 and Thing 2 refer to girl parts because, well, they don’t understand the correct word.

A couple of things happened at this moment. My brother’s face went completely white and his eyes almost bulged out of his head. The couple sitting right next to Ryder almost fell off the bench laughing. And I simply explained it was her bottom, not her pachina, while silently dying inside.

Top 10 Reasons Being a Mom Rocks

2011-05-08T12:59:00.001-05:00

1. Hugs and kisses numerous times throughout the day.

2. Imaginations that run wild and remind me of my my own childhood.

3. Bedtime stories and snuggles.

4. Laughter that can instantly change any bad day I’m having.

5. Unconditional love.

6. Dance parties that rival any night club I’ve been to.

7. Hearing “I love you” will never get old. Ever.

8. Tiny hands that fit perfectly into my own.

9. Curious minds that can ask the question “why?” a million times a day.

10. Watching these 4 little people grow, learn and discover every single day.

Motherhood is a rewarding, challenging, and deeply fulfilling job. As mothers, we work tirelessly to guide, encourage and teach our children. We are shoulders to cry on, cheerleaders, comforters, enforcers, warriors, referees, monster chasers, leaders, chefs, tutors, care takers, protectors, friends, and sometimes, even fun ruiners.

We do our best to raise our little people into neat adults who make good choices in life. We love fiercely and deeply. And our children will be the very best thing we ever “do”.

Whether you are a mom-to-be, a first time mom, a step-mom or a mom to one ,or many kids, happy Mother’s Day. Cheers to you for choosing the best gig God ever created. May your children fill your heart with more love than you ever dreamed possible and forever make your world a sweeter place, just as mine have.

Survey Time

2011-05-06T12:20:00.001-05:00

I’m one of those people who really doesn’t mind going to the grocery store, although these days it is a bit more challenging considering the number of kids I have to haul around with me.

I go once a week which means that I have to plan our meals in advance. We also have a grocery budget that I try to stick to but that hasn’t been happening lately. I can justify my overspending a million different ways (diapers, formula, etc) but the husband, he doesn’t really care why. He just wants me to stick to the budget.

I’ve never used coupons regularly because I’ve found that I end up buying things I don’t necessarily need, or I can save money by purchasing another brand. However, in an attempt to prove that I really can do anything and everything, I am attempting to use coupons. My hope is that I spend less than our grocery budget, however, I’m not sure I’ll get there.

I cook every day for a family of six (One member is new to table food and isn’t eating a whole lot ,yet. You’ve seen the Chubs, he’ll be eating more than me soon). I don’t buy boxed meals and try to cook healthy, fresh meals for my family. I don’t purchase any junk food other than a box of Cosmo Brownies for the kids and a bag of chips. I buy a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables weekly. I shop at Wal-Mart because I feel my money goes further than when I shop at Dillons. What I have found is cooking healthy is expensive but it isn’t something I am willing to compromise. We budget $150 per week for our groceries.

So tell me about your grocery store habits. Do you go to the store once a week, or numerous times? Do you have a budget? Are you a couponer? How much do you typically spend a week at the store? How many people do you feed? What type of meals do you cook and do you cook daily? How do you save money at the store?

In the meantime, I thought I’d share a couple of great money saving blogs I’ve found. Feel free to post links to blogs you like.

www.moneysavingmom.com

www.krazycouponlady.com

www.passionforsaving.com

Attack of the backyard pooper

2011-04-08T19:05:00.001-05:00

Looks can be deceiving.

Exhibit A:

This little guy looks innocent enough. However, today Emmerson and her BFF, Paige, were on the deck eating lunch when I hear a little scream. I walk out there and it turns out they were just playing, but out of the corner of my eye I see Ryder, standing by a tree, with his pants down.

I walk to the other end of the deck and tell him to pull up his pants to which he replies, “I’m not done pooping mommy.”

Yes folks, he took a dump in the backyard. In front of Emmerson and her BFF.

The upshot is he took care of business when he had to, with no shame in his game. The downfall is I know he will only continue to humiliate Emmerson the older they get.

And he will be the death of me.

Fatty

2011-03-29T21:32:00.001-05:00

In case you didn’t know, I have a fat baby. At 9 months old he weighs about 25 pounds. That’s 25 pounds of pure lovin’, people. He wears 18 month clothing and a size 4 diaper. I have no doubt this kid is going to be huge.

Want to know my favorite thing? Chewing on those fat little legs. And his cheeks that are like little pillows. Want to know what this little chubs favorite thing is? Baths.

Look at those legs. Oh my.

Chubs just can’t wait to get in the bath.

Thank goodness we’ve been “fixed”, or I’d have another one. Seriously.

Miss Independent

2011-03-24T16:05:00.001-05:00

Meet Emmerson. She fondly refers to herself as “Daddy’s Princess” which makes my husband so proud. She likes to think she is about 13 years old, when in fact, she is only 4.

Which leads me to this:

Opps.

Hmm.

Crap.

I’d like to let you all know that Emmerson had to stand there while I vacuumed up the chocolate milk mix off of her, and the floor.

Spring Break rocks. Just like I remember.

Babies and Elvis.

2011-03-06T17:11:00.001-06:00

Last weekend, two of my very best girlfriends and I drove to Kansas City to celebrate one of our VBFF’s baby to be. She lives in Chicago now so we don’t get to see her nearly as often as we’d like.

If you know Michelle then you know that she is, simply put, fabulous. She’s a brain-iac, beautiful, hilarious, full of questions, sometimes confused (we discovered around the same time that Alaska is not an island. For the record, she thought it was by Hawaii. At least I knew it was by Canada.), sweet and loyal. Oh, and she loves Elvis. She’s one of those friends who you can go a month without talking to and pick up right where you left off. Our friendship has always been very easy and very necessary.

If you haven’t met her, that’s her in a nutshell. I love this girl to death.

And now my sweet friend is expecting her very first baby. As soon as I answered the phone I knew what she was going to tell me. We both cried. It was one of those moments where your heart just melts from happiness.

I’m so excited that she is joining the “Mommy Club” and how this will forever be the best thing she and her husband will do. I’m so excited for her to experience the very best part of life and I can’t wait for this little dude to get here!

With that said, some of her very best girlfriends threw a shower for her last weekend. And it was perfect. I had my huge camera with me but felt like Olin Mills, or the party pic guy, walking around so I didn’t end up with many pictures. However, Summer was sweet enough to send me the ones she took.

I give you an Elvis Baby Shower:

In case you were wondering, Elvis was not at the shower. However, it was hard to tell with this window cling. Michelle had a lot of fun standing outside the door for five minutes so everyone could take pictures of her. Notice the snow – it was freezing out there. We didn’t care though, we needed pictures of the preggo lady with Elvis.

Because every Elvis luva needs this for their baby. Isn’t this the most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen? I’m getting him a cape for when he’s older. I know Matt will appreciate it.

Cake table, filled with Elvis loot. I’d have to have an NKOTB shower, since I’ve got boxes of loot. Still. Don’t judge me. I’m just “hanging tough”, people.

See that monkey? It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And I want one. I certainly don’t need it but I want it because it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Jamie made that. It only took her 17 hours to complete it but we all think she needs to sell these because they are AWESOME.

No Elvis shower is complete without Elvis onsie cookies.

Graceland. I feel confident Michelle and Summer will celebrate Baby P’s first birthday in Graceland. Hopefully, Matt will go along so he doesn’t miss the party.

These are some of my very dearest friends. There is nothing sweeter than friends you’ve had for more than half of your life and celebrating life’s biggest joys together.

Happy baby shower, Michelle. I love you so much, my friend, and cannot wait to meet your sweet baby-man.

xoxo

How we roll

2011-03-02T21:42:00.001-06:00

Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

Tonight we loaded up 3 of 4 kids to do some shopping. As most of you well know, shopping is something I love whether it be for shoes and handbags, groceries, gifts or things for our home. I don’t really care what it is, I just like to do it.

My kids apparently like to take my favorite activity and turn it into hell.

As soon as we get to the store the kids start fussing. About everything.

“Ryder’s touching me.”

“I want to go home.”

“I’m bored.”

“Emmerson touched me.”

“Ryder touched me again.”

If you know my husband than you know that he has limited patience, at best. If you haven’t met him then let me tell you, it is something we work on every day.

With that said, the shopping trip was tense from the get go. And you know when you just want to get in and get out but you end up being there far longer than you anticipated? That was our story tonight.

As soon as we get outside Emmerson and Ryder start yelling.

“ECHO! ECHO!”

“HELLO OUT HERE!”

They’re friendly little people, aren’t they? Clever too. Make your own echo if acoustics aren’t right.

However, Zach was not in the mood to listen to them yelling and was about to burst with frustration. Of course, he was telling them to knock it off but they must not have been able to hear over themselves because they continued. Louder.

We finally get to the car and get everyone and everything loaded. Zach and I climb in and I pull the keys out of my jacket pocket to hand to him only to discover the ignition key is not on the keychain. (I’m certain I saw smoke come out of Zach’s ears at this point.)

A very short conversation:

Z: Do you want to go look or stay with the kids?

Me: Given your current state I think it’s best for everyone if I wait with the kids. Go, scour the store. Find the key daddy. Save the family.

Strangely enough, as soon as he walked off they sat quietly. I texted my BFF to give her an update on the ridiculous situation. Ryder comes through with a tip that he saw the key on the floor by the garden area. Call Zach to have him head that way.

After a few minutes I happened to look over at the steering wheel and something caught my eye. Yes, the key was in the ignition.

Called Zach to alert him to call off the search party. Texted the BFF for a final update. As he walked to the car the kids started cheering. I was dancing to the music and laughing my ass off. The husband did one of those little jump up and click your heels together things. Okay, that’s a lie, but he did manage to laugh with us.

And this, my friends, is the story of my life.

Biggie-biggie

2011-03-01T19:02:00.001-06:00

It’s impossible to believe that 8 months have already passed since my baby was born.

This is the two of us, two days before our formal introduction:

And this is us, when we finally got to meet:

The day after we met:

And here’s a shot of the little bird he was:

A lot can change in 8 months. With this guy, it’s been his weight, which has increased dramatically. As well as his ability to sit up, attempts to crawl, eat stage three foods, feed himself some foods, babble about everything, exercise his voice by screaming, and fill a diaper like no one’s business.

Before long he’ll be running after his brothers and his sister and we’ll be potty training. Again. I don’t remember time flying by quite so quickly with the other three.

I can’t imagine my life without this sweet, chubby little boy and it’s hard to remember life before him. I am so glad I convinced the hubs we needed one more baby because, as usual, I was right.

Happy 8 months Chubs, you biggie, biggie.

Confession

2011-02-23T23:30:00.003-06:00

Some of you may remember that the husband and I took a little trip to Las Vegas not too very long ago. It was mucho fun and in case you didn’t know, this girl LOVES playing craps.

What I didn’t tell you about is the small mishap I had while we were there. I would like to preface this story with two disclaimers:

#1: Sometimes, when you aren’t familiar with your surroundings, you tend to get turned around.

#2: It’s stories like these that make my husband rub his head and say, “why do you tell me these things?” However, he loves me just the same. I think.

While in Vegas, after a few cocktails, we went shopping. (By “we” I mean I shopped and the husband tagged along.) I found the most perfect, fabulous dress ever which was music to the husbands ears at this point – hello, there was gambling to be had. However, said dress was short and strapless which is fine in the summer, but in the dead of winter…well, let’s just say you may have mistaken me for Powder’s long lost sister. But whatever, the dress rocked and I wasn’t about to leave without it.

Enter my great idea for a spray tan. Brilliant, I know. Scheduled it at the salon in Encore, however the tan was actually at the Wynn.

I made my way to the salon at the Wynn. Logic tells me that since I made the appointment at the salon in Encore I will be gloriously tanned at the Salon at the Wynn. Makes sense, right? Right. At the Wynn salon they tell me that my appointment is actually at the Spa since they have private rooms and point me down the hall.

The point I’d like to make here is that as soon as I got off the elevator every window said SPA on it and I’m not much into details.

I walked down the hall, opened the big, glass door and announced that I was there for my 3:00 spray tan. To which the guy, in running pants and collared shirt, replies, “They can help you right there,” while pointing right outside the door I just walked through to a counter with girls dressed as though they work at a spa, are waiting on me. Probably wondering what in the hell I’m doing – IN THE GYM.

That’s right folks. I walked right by the desk, into the gym, to get my spray tan. One would think the TREADMILLS would give me a clue, but no, they didn’t do one thing to help in this expedition.

The upshot is that I gave the two people at the desk, IN THE GYM, a good laugh for at least a day or two. Maybe even a week. And once I found my way, I ended up with the best spray tan EVER.

My husband, well, I'm just thankful he thinks I'm cute.

What the…

2011-02-14T01:26:00.001-06:00

Seriously, who’s kid is this? One part skeleton, one part Iron Man, a little mismatched cowboy and bug lover, all rolled into one.

He’s one hot mess but I wouldn’t haven’t him any other way.

Emmerson has her preschool Valentine’s Day party tomorrow and there is a slight chance I took this party a little too seriously.

I give you exhibit A:

That’s just a small portion of the 40 pieces of cheese I took the time to cut into hearts.

Exhibit B:

42 Oreo truffles. Although I’ll only be taking 41 to the party since I let the husband have a sample. What can I say, I’m nice like that.

Ridiculous? Perhaps. But I just couldn’t stop myself. Sue me.

Last week I was whisked away to Long Beach, CA. Okay, maybe whisked away isn’t exactly accurate…the husband had a trade show there and I tagged along. At any rate, while everyone at home was enduring temperatures below freezing, I was wearing open toed shoes and skirts. That was nice, until I got off the plane, with no coat, to 8 inches of snow. Welcome home!

Sadly, I forgot my camera. Luckily, my phone has one on it! Unfortunately, it isn’t great.

Leg room on the plane. LOVE it.

Grand Canyon. Our pilot rocked and gave us a show. That’s a bunch of water on the window, but if you can see past it, that the GC out the window. Yee haw!

View from our room.

Pool from our room. I did not subject anyone to my “Powder”-like state. I wasn’t looking for a lawsuit.

Driving for the important things: shopping.

The pirate ship we chartered. Just kidding. It’s the pirate ship we looked at from the pier.

Meeting Rocky Bleier.

And that, my friends, concludes this edition of my trip in pictures. I’m sorry the quality is poor, but when I upgraded my Palm-Pre to the Palm Pixie I was assured the camera quality was every bit as good.

Turns out, that was a bold face lie.

The best $25 I ever spent

2011-02-02T22:17:00.001-06:00

Let me just say that being stuck inside for two days does nothing for me, except make me eat more junk food than I usually do in two weeks. To only add fuel to the fire, I thought it was a good idea to make chocolate rolo cookies yesterday.

Listen folks, summer is just around the corner (the groundhog told us so and I trust that little rodent) and this girl is not going to eat herself out of her swimsuit. Well, as long as the weather cooperates and let’s us get out of the house tomorrow.

Most everyone I know celebrates snow days like they’re Christmas or something but I have to be honest, I just don’t like them. Mind you, there are days we might not actually go anywhere, but just the fact we can if we want to makes all the difference in the world to me. My kids, they like snow days because I let them eat lots of cookies, watch entirely too much TV and stay in their pajamas all day. What can I say, it’s a good excuse to slack off and I don’t feel guilty about it.

However, tomorrow is a new day. Sure, it’s going to be cold but today some kid shoveled my driveway for $25 so there’s a good chance we’ll leave the house. Maybe we’ll go to the library, or Hobby Lobby, or drive aimlessly around like we used to do in high school. The point is, I can get out of my driveway without getting stuck and I didn’t have to lift a finger. That’s $25 well spent.

Who needs sunshine when you can have snow?

2011-02-01T14:36:00.002-06:00

Saturday it was sunny and 70 degrees here. I spent Saturday in a tank top because that’s what you do when you get an awesome day in January – you dress like it’s summertime, right? Just me? Well then, moving on. Currently, it is about 4 degrees and snowing like crazy. I am now in my favorite sweat pants with no intentions of changing. (That’s what I do on cold, snowy days.)

Our trip to the zoo last week was lot’s of fun. I’m so glad we got to enjoy a couple of really nice, warm days before all of this snow business. We skipped the chimps so I have no horrifying stories to report on that end, which is probably a good thing. I don’t want our chimps getting a bad rap for enjoying the occasional squirrel every now and then.

Our treks around the zoo are usually slow going since no one has to go to the bathroom at the same time, rather in 15 minute intervals. Needless to say, we spent as much time in the bathrooms as we did visiting animals.

You know what I love about taking the kids to the zoo? It wears them out. And that makes me feel good. Because it means I’ve got them plenty of exercise and they’ve learned interesting facts about animals all day long. It has nothing to do with them actually being quiet and peaceful when we get home. It’s all about the education. Ahem.

I love our zoo. I think it’s one of the very best in the entire country. Never mind the fact I haven’t been to more than 3 other zoos in my life, it’s still one of the best. They are constantly renovating and adding new exhibits. I love how our community supports our zoo and are always so willing to participate in awesome zoo events like the Summer Concert Series, Zoobilee and Wet-N-Wild days.

My kids love hanging out with all the statues. I’m not sure what it means but every chance they got they wanted me to take a picture. Maybe in another life they were statues. Or maybe in their next lives that’s what they are going to be. Either way, I don’t see how this will work for them since they can’t sit still to save their lives.

My kids are weird. The end.

LiveJournal Tags: scz,zoo,humor

Look who got a facelift!

2011-01-27T23:09:00.004-06:00

My kids are in bed. My husband is out of town. If I was smart I’d go to bed. Instead, I’ve decided to take a minute to show you all my new blog! Hopefully, you like it. If you don’t, I really don’t care because I do. So there.

Remember a long, long time ago (okay, about a month ago) when I told you we were going to Texas for the weekend? That was the last time this girl has posted a thing. I’m so lame. But guess what? That same girl and her husband just spent last weekend in VEGAS. And it was the best weekend in Vegas I’ve ever had. We ate fabulous food, shopped, played a ton of craps and a little black jack, visited some friends who live there now and I even got to shake my booty at a kick ass club. Oh, and we worked some but we don't need to discuss that part of the trip since it isn't nearly as fun as the rest of it. If you know me than you know how much I love to dance so this was certainly a highlight. Sadly, we only left our hotel/casino a few times. Apparently we are snobs because we just couldn’t come up with any reason to leave but I don’t care. We had more important things to do other than walk up and down the strip (see the above list of things we did). Regardless, a weekend away is exactly what we needed, never mind the fact that I haven’t been to bed before 1am since we got home.

We’re going to Long Beach in a week and Nashville in April. Without the punks. Color me happy. I love my kids to death but there is a HUGE difference in getting away with my husband and getting away with my husband and kids. And sometimes, this girl just needs a break.

Tomorrow it’s supposed to be almost 70 here so we are taking advantage of it and going to the zoo. The last time we were at the zoo we witnessed the chimps attack, tear apart and eat a squirrel. It was horrible. Ryder was a total window licker and wouldn’t walk away while Emmerson was practically in tears, screaming and mortified. There were chimps running around with mouthfuls of squirrel and carrying legs. I didn’t know what to say when Emmerson asked me why they would do that to the squirrel so I simply said, “That’s what animals do, honey. They eat each other.” I’m sure there was a better response but I was under a lot of pressure and still pretty grossed out by the whole event. Ryder, on the other hand, was impressed by how far up they threw the squirrel. There were no questions from him but I’m pretty sure he wanted to high five me.

I really do hope you like the new look of the blog. It was fun to have a vision and watch someone bring it to life. Now, if I can just get back into posting regularly, I’ll be able to put it to use.

I’ll let you know if we have any traumatizing experiences tomorrow. Even if it’d make Ryder’s day, I’m hoping there are none to report.

who needs sleep, anyhow?

2011-01-07T06:41:00.001-06:00

You know what happens when you have kids? You learn to live off of four hours of sleep. If you have kids you know this. If you don’t, pay heed.

This is the guy responsible for my 4:30 a.m. wake-up call today:

If he wasn’t so cute I might actually be mad at him. But those chubby cheeks have me completely wrapped around his little finger. Darn him for being so cute, I’m such a sucker.

Of course, he’s fallen back asleep because he’s smart enough to realize 4:30 is an unacceptable time to wake up. I, on the other hand, am wide awake and ready to go. This day has started off rather productive – I’ve done a load of laundry and emptied the dishwasher. Plus, there are no pee wetter's running around so it’s kind of nice in here.

Sleep, it’s for the birds. And the kids...And the husband.

Today we are headed to Texas for a wrestling tournament. Wrestling is serious business, folks. When you’re 10 years old have been wrestling for six years you must follow your little wrestling heart to Texas. After all, Open Division Champs will receive custom cage fighting shorts. Hello? Who doesn’t want a pair of those? I almost signed myself up but reconsidered when I remembered my brother used to choke me out with a mean half-nelson and the scissor hold always had me yelling uncle.

Zach tried to get Ryder into wrestling this year but unfortunately he has the attention span of a gnat and hasn’t quite perfected a summersault. (No judgment here, gymnastics hasn’t been on our daily lesson plan. I am trying to incorporate it somewhere in between imaginative play and free time). He attended approximately three practices when Zach decided (much to Coach Shane’s delight) that he wasn’t quite ready. It probably had more to do with Ryder running over to give Zach kisses every four minutes than the summersault issue, but he’s sticking to his story that he’s just not ready.

Since he doesn’t get to wrestle yet, I’ve decided that he should WATCH his big brother practice every week. You know, to get him interested and excited for next year. What this translates to is, “Mommy needs a break. You will make sure she gets one. He will go along, whether you like it or not.” I understand he’s loud and has no regard for when Coach Bryce is talking. I’m truly sorry for that. But we must prepare him for next year. That’s what good wrestling parents do.

Like I mentioned, we’re headed to Texas. If you know us, than you know we love nothing more than a good road trip. We’ve packed enough crap for a two week vacation and the kids are sure to wake up in super-duper good moods. I’ve got enough movies in the car to keep them entertained for a month. And lot’s of snacks, because I don’t travel without them.

Now, if everyone can just watch movies, quietly, for the next five hours mommy can get a little shut eye.

If I didn’t procrastinate, nothing would ever get done, really.

2010-12-29T23:07:00.001-06:00

Because I am horrible at time management, I have 4 kids, I procrastinate like no one’s business and I just kept running out of time, I took a month off from blogging. I managed to knock out the Christmas shopping, decorate the house,watch Aidan take first place in a wrestling tournament, attend a couple of parties, celebrate Aidan’s 10th birthday, watch Emmerson star as a donkey and an angel in her preschool play, shoot a buck, make it to Christmas Eve service at church, and make sure Santa got rolos and milk on Christmas Eve. December was a crazy month and I am simply thankful I survived.

I have two birthday posts that I have neglected to work on so you can expect them soon. It’s impossible that Aidan is now in the double digits and that it’s been seven years since I celebrated my mom’s birthday with her. However, I felt it was important to let you all know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth so we’ll start with this post first.

Like I mentioned, I shot my first buck this December. Don’t be jealous. Even when I thought I had missed it, I had fallen in love with hunting. I’ve been before but only shot once (and missed because I justsohappened to close my eyes when I pulled the trigger) and after this round, I have to say, hunting rocks. I totally understand why my husband loves it so much – it’s an amazing rush. I was certain I missed the deer but Zach humored me by telling me we should look for blood. When we saw the deer laying there, I started jumping up and down and I may have yelled a little. Or a lot. And my husband has never been so proud. I’m currently looking to get my own show. Or not.

Yes, that’s lip gloss. And earrings. If I’m wearing all that hunting gear you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to attempt to look my best.

Christmas morning started off with a bang. Ryder had an asthma attack in the middle of the night and woke up with another one. This lead to a trip to the ER to get him under control. He decided he “wikes” the new Via Christi hospital because he received no shots and when the doctor told him he could leave he said, “see you waiter, sucka-wucka ding dong.”

We also woke up to two horrible piles of dog pooh in our room since our puppy, Daisy, ate an entire bag of Hersey Kisses, foil and all. Merry Christmas to us. I think I slept a total of 2 hours Christmas Eve which was awesome, to say the least.

Thankfully, Santa was smart enough NOT to bring us any animals this year. The cat and dog (the pooper) are more than enough for me and if he brings anymore animals I can assure you, Santa will be fired. Forever. Aidan got a little laptop computer and we learned you cannot turn on the parental controls fast enough. While searching for Dicks Sporting Goods he found another website that has either peaked his curiosity or scarred him for a good couple of years. He did mention it was “disgusting” so I have high hopes it’s the latter.

The week before Christmas I finally ordered our Christmas cards. They are still waiting for me to mail them out. If you typically receive one from us, you can expect it in the mail in the next week, complete with a Happy News note. I can’t tell you how badly December kicked my ass but I think that’s proof enough.

Other highlights of the last month include: Cortland is a mover and a shaker now. In fact, he was napping on our bed tonight and he had managed to scoot himself right to the edge of the bed. Thankfully, I found him right before he made a graceful swan dive off the side off the bed. From here on out, he’ll only be sleeping in his crib. He’s almost mastered sitting up and likes to stand on his fat legs. The fat legs that I cannot stop chewing on. Or his fat cheeks. Oh, how I love chewing on a fat baby.

Kids have been sick. All of them. Flu bug. Horrible colds. Croup. Asthma. I’ve cleaned up more puke and poop than anyone should ever have to and wiped more snotty noses than I ever thought possible. The amount of laundry I’ve done is insane. I’ve slept less in the last month than I have in the last year. And I have given up napping. Ridiculous is what that is. I’m praying we’re on the mend. Otherwise, I’m going back to work.

Got the playroom completely cleaned out. That was about the most horrible task I’ve ever taken on, in my life. What you’re about to see my be graphic to some. Viewer discretion is advised.

I hated this room. HATED it. And there was absolutely NO part of me that wanted anything to do with it. Obviously. But now, I give you THIS:

And I can finally breath. Sure, I’m kind of anal when it comes to playing in there now, but the children are learning to put away what they were playing with before they get something new out. I’ve got mad organizing skills, yo, and ain’t no shorty gonna bring me down.

Lastly, I managed to teach my kids that the real reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. If you ask them who’s birthday is on Christmas, they’ll tell you, Jesus. Happy Birthday to Jesus made my little heart melt. If nothing else, that right there has validated me as a mom more than anything else to date, even the clean playroom.

turkey day highlights

2010-11-27T22:47:00.001-06:00

Turkey Day highlights:

Kicked off the day with a small oven fire due to bubble bread that dripped into the bottom of the oven. I won’t name names of who is responsible for the fire but her name starts with Sh and ends in Annon.

Managed to prepare one chocolate pie, an enormous amount of mashed potatoes and pistachio stuffing. Thankfully, I did not have to prepare the entire meal, although I have faith in my awesomeness that I could have done so if necessary. Instead, I got to enjoy the day in the kitchen with the girl who helped start the fire in my oven. And thankfully, she caused no further issues.

For my hosting my first Thanksgiving dinner I’d have to say it went off perfectly. 3 tables full of family, 2 birds consumed and 16 stuffed people. If I haven’t mentioned this before, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and this year was one of the very best.

I took pictures of everyone, whether or not they wanted to be photographed. With my new camera it’s a lot of fun to play Olin Mills. Or paparazzi. Hearing my dad yell that he was going to shove my camera, up my you know what, was totally worth stalking him all day.

Wacked my face on a lamp, approximately two hours after the oven incident. I was certain this was only foreshadowing a day of doom but I am happy to report, other than walking into the bed and completely bruising my leg, there were no further accidents. I’ll consider that a success.

Laughing. Lot’s of laughing.

As a tradition, before we eat dinner we go around the room and everyone says what they are thankful for. This year some of the things people said were:

Spending the holiday with family.

Football.

Being 84 and healthy.

Being together.

Horses.

Last year on Thanksgiving I got to announce to our family we were expecting a new baby, which made me cry because I’m an emotional sap. This year I said how I was grateful to share that news last year and how I am so thankful he is here. This too made me cry, because I am an emotional sap.

Here are some of the paparazzi pictures I was able to snap.

Emmerson, Lakin (nephew), Morissa (niece), Ryder

Emmerson with Bunko (Zach’s dad)

My dad & my sister

Great Nana & Cortland Knox

My sister, Lakin, Great Nana and my bil, Brock. This is Nana saying what she is grateful for before dinner.

Desserts

Cortland and Bunko

Nana (Zach’s mom) with Emmerson and Cort

My husband, who clearly appreciates my Olin Mills capabilities.

We had a perfect Thanksgiving Day and an awesome weekend with my sister and her family. My hope is the family who is usually here but were not this year, are back next year because they were all greatly missed.

I also hope that I can remember to keep my camera battery charged so that when we go visit Santa the day after Thanksgiving I can actually take pictures of my children. Details, details.

a thanksgiving list

2010-11-24T00:13:00.003-06:00

In honor of Thanksgiving, I wanted to share with you things I am deeply grateful for. I hope this gives you the inspiration to create, and share, your own Thanksgiving list.

My kids. Regardless of the crap they pull on me, like freaking out everysingletime they have to go to bed, they pretty much rock. And really, who would have ever thought I’d wind up with 4 of them???

Heated seat warmers. Let’s face it, if the rest of your body is going to freeze, it’s always nice to have a toasty rear. Too bad car seats don’t come equipped with this treasure. My kids have no idea what they’re missing.

A membership to the gym, which I really don’t use. However, when it isn’t like planning a vacation to get there, I’ll use it. Really.

Living in the house I grew up in, flaws and all. There is nothing better than coming home.

Our 2 obnoxious dogs. By obnoxious I mean, one of them likes to use our basement as a toilet. I’ve never been team dog but these 2 are pretty stinking sweet, even with the above mentioned “issue”.

Dear friends whom I’ve loved most of my life.

Wine. And I’m not talking Boone’s Farm here either. Wine and I, we’ve got a good thing going.

My gray Victoria’s Secret sweatpants. I could care less whether ~~my husband~~ anyone thinks they’re hot.
They’re comfy. And sometimes that is all that matters.

The ability to cook. Minus the hot oil incident.

How sweet Aidan is with his younger siblings. I know it has to suck sometimes to be so much older but he’s an awesome brother to them and it melts my heart, just about every day. For the record, this does not include the ridiculous screaming fits he likes to induce.

That I’ve never been a nail bitter. Sorry for those of you who are, but it’s a habit that disgusts me.

The fact my husband has introduced me to so many things over the years. Including, but not limited to, craps and black jack, deer hunting, dogs and kids.

When I won’t let Emmerson do something she tells me, “You really are the fun ruiner.” Oh funny girl, you have no idea. Just wait about 12 years.

My mom. Because she was the coolest woman I ever got to love.

My husband is currently letting his hair grow out, despite the hilarious comments all his comedic friends like to share with him, simply because I like it longer. What can I say, I like a man with curly hair and he’s got plenty of it. Meow.

My dad. My brother. My sister. Oh, I love you crazy bunch.

All of my family, including the family I inherited when I got married.

Music and dancing. Thankfully, my kids have inherited the same appreciation. Dance parties are a regular thing over here.

And finally, I am grateful that we my husband got our ginormous hot tub working because sitting out there every night is exactly what we need.

when in the hell did i marry someone so, old?

2010-11-18T02:10:00.003-06:00

Happy birthday to the hottest hunter I ever loved. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t know what I’d do without you. Even if I don’t totally “get” your obsession with hunting, I’m grateful for your obsession with me and our family.

Things have never come easy for us. We’ve weathered more storms in the 8 years we’ve been together than most people see in a lifetime. You’ve seen me at my absolute worst yet loved me as though I was at my best.

You have stood up for what you believe in and I love you incredibly for doing so. I am amazed at that man you are. Your character is above what I could ask for in a partner and as the father to my children, and I am thankful YOU are beside me through this walk of life. The fact you can forgive makes me more proud than words could ever convey.

You are an incredible father to our children and I could not have chosen a better partner to raise kids with. Not only do our children respect and love you but they adore and admire you. I love the expression on their little faces when you get home from work, or when there is a special outing planed for them with you. When I think about what I have wanted in a partner YOU are who I have always envisioned, even if I didn’t always know it was you.

I am so proud of all you have accomplished and all that you are determined to do. There are so many dreams we have and I know they are well within our grasp because together, there is nothing we can’t do. You are my rock, my cheerleader, my heart and my soul. You inspire me, motivate me, and make me want to be a better woman. Mr.. Campbell, you are the piece of my soul I never knew was missing.

I will forever be grateful that you came into my life, that you forever changed my life, and forever made my world a sweeter place to be. I don’t know what I ever did before you and I have no idea what I would do without you now. Thank you for loving me, for completing me, for creating a life with me that is better than I could ever wish for.

I am forever proud of you. And I will always love you.

So happy #37, Zachary. Here is to the next 37.
xoxo

well, this is random.

2010-11-16T22:33:00.001-06:00

Meltdowns are the bane of my existence. When you have four kids it’s inevitable that numerous times per day someone will be freaking out about something. It’s also inevitable that with four kids, one husband, two dogs and a cat that you will have more laundry than you ever dreamed possible and you’ll be cleaning up poop or pee either off of people or floors. Such was my day. The husband is responsible, in part, for the laundry, not the poop or pee.

Tomorrow Zach leaves to deer hunt for five days. By now, you may have figured out that my husband is obsessed when it comes to hunting. If you haven’t figured that out yet either you don’t read my blog regularly, or you aren’t a quick study. Anyhow, tomorrow is also his birthday so we’ll be sending him on his way with a lasagna and brownies. I will celebrate his 37th year of life by spending the evening with some of my favorite girls. There is a chance we might get around to playing bunco, however, there is a greater chance we’ll skip that part of our evening.

There was one time when I thought that I would take hunter’s safety to impress this man o’ mine. So I did. It was me and a bunch of young boys with their dad’s. And the husband was impressed. However, he thought that since I had ~~suffered~~ learned about hunting for two days straight I should actually put all of that sweet hunting knowledge to use. I’ve been deer hunting the last few years, although I have absolutely nothing to show for it, other than some pictures he took of me while I slept in the deer blind, sitting up, freezing my ass off, none of which I’ll show you. I’m what you’d call a “trophy hunter”. I’m only going for a buck. A big buck. To put on my wall. (Who in the hell have I become? What has this guy done to me???) Needless to say, in a few short weeks I’ll be rocking my camo, sleeping in a deer blind, waiting on Mr. Buck to show his big rack. I’ll see if the husband can take a picture of me that do not rival Sitting Bull as previous pictures have done.

In the meantime, I’ll be getting ready to host my first Thanksgiving dinner. I should point out that my dad will be smoking our bird, because that’s the only way anyone should have a turkey. Unless, it’s in the form of bacon. Or deli meat. Or jerky. If I can cook for 65 people this should be pretty easy, right? That’s my hope. Pistachio dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, chocolate silk pie…I’m not sure what else we’ll be having but I do like to procrastinate so I guess I won’t worry about it until next week.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, the hot tub is calling my name.

i’m quitting the housework. again.

2010-11-10T22:25:00.001-06:00

Took a little time off from blogging to pursue other things like laundry and cleaning the house. The good news is I got my fill of both activities and I’ve decided blogging is much more fun so I’m giving up on them again.

Seriously though, we’ve had a crazy few weeks and I just needed to get through them. We’ve had rooms painted (3 to be exact) and we have officially said goodbye to Old Blue (the color of our house when we bought it. And the color it’s been since it was born 21 years ago). I’ll post before and after pictures soon but the trim is being finished up so until then just take my word that it looks AMAZING.

We’ve trick-or-treated, spent time 4-wheeling and filling deer feeders (very important when you’re a serious hunter like ~~I am~~ the husband is.) Oh, and we also have taken the necessary measures to ensure we add no more children to our current brood of four. To be clear, the husband took one for the team. The hot tub is fixed and we’ve had a fire in the fireplace. Been to a concert (Zac Brown Band) and had friends over for dinner (altogether there were 17 of us. 3 families. We just like having kids I guess.)

Football season is over and wrestling has begun. I’ve turned on the heat. My baby man is four months old and weighs 17 pounds. He’s started eating food. I’ve managed to get Emmerson to school on time every day this week. Currently, all laundry is done. Daylights savings time has come and I didn’t even get to take advantage of it with an extra hour ~~at the bar~~ of sleep. Cut 5 inches off my hair. Daisy (Aidan’s dog Santa brought him last year) is home from the dog trainer. For the record, if Santa brings anything with a pulse this year ,he will officially be fired. Forever.

Since I’ve been such a blogging slacker, here are some pictures of what we’ve been doing. Enjoy.

they don’t call me macgyver for nothin’

2010-10-21T22:36:00.003-05:00

If my life wasn’t a disaster I’m not sure what I’d do. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Took Emmerson to school yesterday. Stopped at Spangles because Iabsolutetlyneeded an egg and cheese bagel. It was HOT and I was so excited to eat it. Got home. Unloaded the boys. Walk to the front door only to realize I don’t have my house key. It, along with my mail box key, is on a little ring that clips off. It’s really handy when it’s hot, or cold, so I can leave the car running while I grab the mail. Or when I want to send my son to grab the mail for me. Anyhow, after I got the mail the night before I apparently didn’t clip the keys back on. Awesome.
Open the garage door only to find that the screen is latched because I keep this bitch locked up like Fort Knox, whether or not I’m home. Sit the boys down in the garage and walk around the house to find an open window that I can hopefully pop the screen out of and climb in. Unsuccessful.
Head back the garage pissed because my bagel is getting cold. Seriously? This has to happen the one time in six months I decide to treat myself to such a delicious, unhealthy breakfast?
I realize I have two options: wait until my husband gets home Friday from his elk hunt or find the power drill. Since sitting a garage for 2 and a half days isn’t logical I get the power drill and completely remove hinges from screen door and unlatch it. (Unlatching the door while holding it proved trickier than I figured it would be but I have mad skills, yo.) Get inside to not-really-enjoy my now cold bagel and discover they forgot the hot sauce I requested.
Typical.

speak into my good ear

2010-10-19T22:51:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, while I ran a quick errand, I came home and my husband told me the doctor’s office called to remind me of Ryder’s appointment at 10:40am, today. Because I am “Super Mom” of course I remembered. Duh.

So this morning I drop off Emmerson and Cortland at my mother-in-law’s house so I can actually make it through the appointment with minimal issues, other than the one I had with me. Ryder and I arrive, on time because I’m that awesome, and he heads straight to the aquarium while I get him checked in.

Me: “Hi, I have Ryder for his check-up.”

The girl reaches for his file and comes up with a blank look.

Girl: “Ryder?”

Me: “Yes. We have a 10:40 appointment.”

Girl: “Hmmm. Hold on a minute.”

She goes to the back, I assume to get his file. I’m wondering why they didn’t have it pulled. She comes back.

Girl: “Are you sure his appointment is today?”

Me: “Yes, someone called yesterday to confirm.”

Girl: “Hang on a minute.”

She comes back with the office manager. This can’t be good.

Office manager: “We don’t have anything down for him today. I see that he has an appointment next week though.”

Me: “That’s strange. Someone called yesterday to confirm.”

OM: “I don’t see anything that shows someone called. But we can get him in with the PA right now, since you’re already here.”

Me: “That’s fine with me. Thanks.”

They get us right in and I don’t even think twice about the fact they called to confirm but somehow we aren’t on the schedule now. Someone else might have begun to wonder but not “Super Mom.” I just go with the flow, people.

We get through the appointment and I pick up the kids. We’re headed to grab lunch when my husband calls to see what I’m doing. I tell him we just left Ryder’s three year check-up.

Zach: “Oh, he had two appointments today?”

Me: “What? No, just his three year check-up.”

Zach: “You didn’t take him to the dentist? What happened?”

Me: “Dentist? What in the hell are you talking about?”

Zach: “I told you Dr. Moore’s office called to confirm his appointment yesterday.”

Me: “What??? I didn’t hear that. I only heard doctor. You’re telling me he was supposed to be at the dentist???”

Zach: “Pretty much.”

I think this story illustrates something of importance here: My husband obviously needs to work on speaking more clearly.

he’s 3

2010-10-18T00:57:00.001-05:00

Happy birthday, Ryder Grey. I don’t know how it’s possible that you are already three years old because it seems like just yesterday you were camped out in my belly. You are such a mess but I wouldn’t have you any other way - you know how to make me smile when I want to scream, laugh when I want to cry.

Much to my dismay, you have me completely wrapped around your finger and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Even when you tell me you don’t “wuve me in your wor-eld” I can’t help but laugh.

You love bugs and spiders, Scooby-Doo, dance parties, waffles for breakfast, mac-n-cheese for lunch, having your back tickled, books, going to the park, dragons and dinosaurs. You like to swim and take baths, look for deer, go fishing, making your sister scream and anything that belongs to Aidan.

You are sweet and loving, messy and wild. Kind and considerate, rowdy and rough. You are so full of life and your spirit is contagious. You are a gift from God and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you but I am grateful that He deemed me worthy of you. I don’t remember life before you and I can’t imagine my life without you.

You have completely captured my heart and I love you more than I ever imagined I could possibly love. So happy birthday sweet boy. Thank you for making my life sweeter than I could hope for. You are my light.

xoxo

Mommy

…a tale of 2 ears

2010-10-13T10:13:00.001-05:00

There are many a reasons that I love my husband but this is definitely at the top of the list. Oh, husband of mine. Thank you so very much for the laugh.

Let me preface this story by telling you that I think men should keep their ear hair trimmed. With that said, I make sure my husbands are so he’s not on the other end of this story. Clearly I’ve done my job because he is now aware of men with unruly ear hair as well.

Zach was flying home last week, after being out town for business, when he noticed the man in front of him looked as though he had, in his words, beavers in his ears. The amount of ear hair this man had was something he had never seen and because of this, he felt it was a very good idea to document it with a picture.

He quietly got the camera on his phone ready to go and placed it as close as he could get it to the man’s ear, without being obvious. All would have gone as planned had the 90 year old woman behind him shouted, “Look at his camera!”

The man quickly turned around and found Zach in position to get a picture. Did I mention the man was not Caucasian?

Ear hair man: “Why are you taking my picture?”

Zach: “I’m not.”

90 year old lady: “Yes you are!”

EHM: “Tell me why you’re taking my picture!!”

Zach: “I’m not taking your picture.”

90 year old lady: “Yes, you are. I saw you.”

EHM: “You’re taking my picture because you think I’m a terrorist. Don’t you?”

Zach: “NO! I don’t think you’re a terrorist.”

90 year old lady: “Why are you taking his picture?”

EHM: “You think I’m a terrorist!”

Zach: “I don’t think you’re a terrorist.”

Zach starts to panic as the man is getting louder and louder. He begins to worry he’ll be thrown off the plane.

EHM: “Tell me why you’re taking my picture!!!”

Zach: “You wanna know the truth?”

EHM: “Yes.”

Zach: “It’s your ear hair.”

EHM: “What?”

Zach: “I’ve never seen anything like it. I was trying to take a picture of it.”

EHM: Turns around. Confused. Probably pissed.

Guy sitting beside Zach: Laughs until he cries.

Zach: Has decided his days of snapping pictures of ear hair for his wife to see are over.

Me: Can’t believe I wasn’t there to witness one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened to my husband. Laughed until I cried. Will keep encouraging him to keep documenting ear hair bandits, if only for my own selfish reasons.

i rock parenthood.

2010-10-10T22:59:00.002-05:00

Just so you know, regarding Ryder’s choice of fine words in front of Emmerson’s teacher and her friend, I was smart enough not to ask him where he heard that word because I figured he’d only rat me out.
When I told my husband about the most mortifying moment of my life to date he immediately pointed his finger at me and said that I am the one who taught him that word.
I asked for proof.
…Never mind.
Now I’d like to share with you one of the ways I keep my children entertained.

Yes, two water bottles is all it took and these two were content for 3 hours. If you are interested in more information regarding parenting techniques that work, let me know. Clearly, I’ve got this thing down.

the best trip to the pumpkin patch. ever.

2010-10-09T11:34:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was Emmerson’s preschool field trip to the pumpkin patch, which is always a hit because, really, who doesn’t love picking out pumpkins? What was even more fun is one of her friends from class got to ride with us, as well as her teacher.

It was also made very clear that Ryder will be the death of me, probably before he’s 6.

I’ll miss you all.

Emmerson and her friend are in the back giggling about everything and it seems Ryder was just looking for some peace and quiet. Miss Kathy and I are talking when I hear the following from my not-quite three year old little boy, “you fucka’s.” In the rearview mirror I see Channing look absolutely mortified. I stiffen. And because I guess I wanted to make a really good impression on Miss Kathy I ask him what he said. I should have known better.

“I called them fucka’s because they won’t stop.”

Looks like I won’t be driving other children on field trips anymore.

Thanks Ryder. I appreciate all you do for me and my reputation as a parent.

Sincerely,

Your mortified mother

Buhler? Buhler? Anyone?

2010-10-05T22:36:00.001-05:00

Do you ever look at your kids and wonder, where in the hell did they get that? I pretty much do that about 13 times a day. Then, I just blame it on Zach because that’s the most logical explanation I can come up with.

Sometimes I think I’m pretty quick when it comes to good ideas. For instance, after Ryder was born I was certain that one more child was exactly what we needed. That proved true, regardless of the looks I get from people when I’m out in public, by myself, with all four of them and three of them are crying.

Other times it takes me time to come up with the perfect idea. Such is the case regarding Ryder’s birthday parties. For the last two years they’ve just been simple parties at home with the family. They’ve been fun. The cake has always been delicious because I think you should always make sure you have a great cake. It can make or break your birthday, really. The only thing lacking has been pizzazz.

And let me tell you, I love pizzazz. I do. I think it’s important. Much like jazz hands. They can really make a situation. I’d like to encourage you to give it a try sometime. After that, have your kids give them a good shake. That’s even better.

This year, I’ve finally come up with the perfect idea for my little dude’s birthday. Now, this is something I really should have come up with two years ago, but sometimes a girl needs time (After all, it did take me well into adulthood before I found out about Alaska but that’s neither here, nor there). With that said, this years birthday theme is….wait for it….Halloween. I know, brilliant, right?

I’m so excited to have a birthday/Halloween party that I can hardly stand it. Costumes for EVERYONE! I’ll be sure to post pictures but you’ll have to wait – it’s not for another week and a half. But know this – it’s going to rock.

In other news, my children really like to screw with me. We put them to bed two hours ago and guess what? Two of them are still awake because they hate me. It’s not enough that I am with them from the break of dawn until bedtime, and when they are up in the middle of the night. They just want me to snuggle them and tickle their backs. Oh, it’s nice to be loved but seriously. Mama just wants to drink some wine and facebook in peace.

Doesn’t anyone want to bug dad? Buhler? Buhler? Anyone?

happy anniversary!

2010-10-01T18:21:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow would be my parents 34th wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe my mom died before they got to celebrate their 26th. I’ve been thinking about this anniversary for quite some time, more so than previous years, probably because my relationship with my dad has changed so much over the last year.

You know what I remember most about growing up? Laughing. And my brother getting grounded all the time because he could never shut his trap. It’s true. One of my dad’s favorite phrases was, “If you think I’m kidding, try me.” So my brother always did. Certainly he needed to know if our dad was kidding or not. Unfortunately for my brother, dad was never kidding and he was always grounded.

My parents loved to have fun and my dad loved to pester my mom. It was one of my favorite things about their marriage and I can’t count the number of times I was in tears because my dad was being such a pain in the ass. I’m pretty sure that’s why I pester Zach so much now. It’s what you do to those you love.

My mom and dad were River Festival Volunteers of the Year. They were a force to be reckoned. Give them a goal to sell 500,000 River Festival buttons and they’d sell 503,000, damn it. Okay, maybe not that many but they sold a lot. In fact, they loved selling buttons so much that every year on Mother’s Day they’d make us sell them too. Yippee!

My parents were popular too. Everyone loved to hang out with them and there were always friends at our house. They were so much fun to be around and everyone loved them. My friends included. It never ceased to amaze me when I’d get home and my friends would be there – hanging with my parents. And for the record, it rocks to have parents that everyone loves.

My parents are also who taught me about politics, even if my dad was so far to the right it hurt. In fact, after I spent my freshman year at KU (ROCK CHALK. Never mind that was the only year I spent there…) he told me I was too liberal for him. The irony of it now!!!! While my dad and I debated such topics as welfare, my mom would roll her eyes and tell my dad to quiet down since he could never discuss them in a normal decibel range.

KU sports, mom’s chili, everyone decorating the Christmas tree while dad supervised, their love of the lake and how proud they were to build their cabin from the ground up, deck parties, their willingness to support us kids in whatever we chose to do, the way mom and dad absolutely perfected the fine art of having a hot meal prepared all at once. Mom cooked inside, dad on the grill. Perfection. Every time. These are things I remember about my parents. Our family. Their friends. The beautiful life they created.

Some of the best parts of my marriage come from what I learned from my parents.

So happy #34 mom and dad. I celebrate your marriage, your life together, your love. Thank you for giving me the best upbringing a girl could wish for.

Mom, I miss you more than I ever dreamed possible. Dad, I love you more than you will ever know.

xoxo

Who forgot the cat puke? This girl right here.

2010-09-30T11:06:00.001-05:00

I’m in need of a time management boot camp like none other. Somehow I manage to get about one thing done each day, usually cleaning the kitchen, about 4 times. It’s like groundhog day around here and I never leave the damn kitchen. At least it’s clean, right?

My lack of time management, and the ability to accomplish more than the kitchen, was kindly pointed out by my husband. There was a recent incident with the cat, and vomit, that led to this conversation but in my defense, I don’t get 10 minutes alone the entire day. When you have 4 kids there is the high likelihood that someone is going to need something, pretty much all the time. That is the reason I forgot to clean up the mess left my our sweet cat. Just so you know, I did get it cleaned up after everyone, including my husband, was in bed.

There was one time when I was working and I had 3 kids. It was hard to balance it all. I always felt as though I had no quality time with my kids, that I was constantly rushing around, constantly telling my kids to hurry up, fighting about who’s turn it was to work late, who’s turn it was to take or pick up the kids and I was pretty much exhausted all the time.

So I had an idea. It was the most brilliant idea I had ever come up with!

I should stay home.

Because, clearly, that would be waaaaay easier than working. Duh. I’d have plenty of time to do laundry, clean the house, do fun craft projects with the kids, go on walks, play, enjoy life. I could cook dinner every night. I’d be a brand new woman with all of my extra time to do all of the things I had to squeeze in after work and on weekends.

Let me just say, it certainly isn’t that simple. I wish it were but after a year of staying home, and adding another kid to the mix, I’m still scrambling to get things done, to find time to actually play with my kids, to keep the house clean, to do the laundry, to plan a garage sale, to keep up with my blog, to find time for myself.

I have friends who are working moms, friends who are stay at home moms. I respect both equally because until you’ve done both jobs, you have no idea how challenging they both are. I’m struggling to make my current job one that I am successful at and one that fills me with the validation that my paying job did.

This is a fulltime gig. There are no breaks. There are no paid days off. No company retreats. And certainly no free tickets to concerts. Hell, I can’t even leave work behind because I never get to leave. I work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Which is why when my husband asks if I think I’ll go back to work after the kids are all in school (that’s 5 years from now, in case you were wondering) I laugh and say, “Are you effing kidding me? That’s when this job will actually be easy.” Duh.

From Martha, With Love…

2010-09-22T23:20:00.001-05:00

More often then I’d like to admit I do things that really make me question if there is something wrong with me. Like the day I found out that Alaska is actually connected to land, not an island as I had believed it to be. I still say that’s one of the best keeps secrets. Ever.

Anyhow, today was one of those days that left me scratching my head.

I had planned a fabulous lunch for my little punks of homemade chicken strips, which my kids love because they are awesome. And I have to tell you, I was really looking forward to lunch today because these things really do rock and because there are many days I don’t even have lunch, so this was a treat indeed. The problem with the chicken strips was that I was on the phone while preparing them so I may have been a little distracted (Scott, are you reading this? It’s YOUR fault. And it will forever be YOUR fault, so thanks a lot).

I turned the stove on to warm up the oil (I never said these things were healthy, I said they were delicious) and went about slicing up the chicken breast and soaking them in buttermilk.

When I finally get off the phone and walk back into the kitchen to get things cooking I see smoke coming out of my skillet (I thought it would be a great idea to put a lid on it to really get it going quickly) so I take the lid off and all hell breaks loose. I probably failed to mention that for some reason (probably my BROTHER, hi brother!) I turned the burner on HIGH. And I let the sucker warm up for probably 10 or 15 minutes, who knows, I was in the middle of a very important conversation.

Any ideas what happened next? Let me tell you. The entire house filled with smoke. The entire house. And not just a little smoke but so much I couldn’t see through my kitchen. Emmerson came down the stairs freaking out, Ryder however, was ready to party (I see rave’s in his future). As quickly as I could I grabbed the skillet and made my way out to the deck. Have you ever tried to move as fast as you possibly can with a skillet filled with oil that’s about to catch on fire? I amazed myself with my keen sense of steady movement. Just call me Steady Eddie because that’s who I am.

After managing to get the screen door open with my wrist, while holding the heavy, boiling hot oil filled skillet, I set it down on the railing to cool. Unfortunately the smoke continued to billow. This would have been handy had I needed to send an SOS, however, that was not my intent today.

Next I hurry inside to get the kids out of the house before Ryder has an asthma attack from his mama’s awesome cooking skills and we all wind up in the hospital with smoke inhalation. Once I get them outside I run back in to open all the windows in the house and turn on every fan. I even took some time to get a towel and wave it around. That last move accomplished absolutely NOTHING so I gave up and went outside with my kids.

After 10 minutes I went back inside to see how things are coming along in airing out the house only to find nothing was coming along. Smoke everywhere and it smelled horrible.

So instead of the awesome chicken strips I had planned for lunch we ended up at McDonald’s where Ryder thought it was more fun to play on the floor than to eat, Cortland cried because he wanted to be held and Emmerson pouted because I told her she had to eat her food in order to open her stupid toy.

And I spent the rest of my afternoon trying to get the smell out of my house.

Awesome.

Much like the day my husband told me to look at all of the turkeys and I said how cool they were only to figure out I was looking at geese. In flight.

Awesome.

I Survived New Buffalo, MI

2010-09-21T00:23:00.001-05:00

Since you are reading this post it is evident that I survived 13 hours in the car with 4 punk kids and 1 husband who has a hairy case of road rage (hi honey). I plan to get a t-shirt made to commiserate this feat.

I really can’t complain too much because for such a long drive my kids rocked. We never even had to resort to bribery. Or Nyquil, which I was sure would be necessary at some point. The worst part of the drive ended up being the smell that was left in my suburban. It may never recover.

I’m so glad we braved the drive and made our way to Michigan City, IN and New Buffalo, MI. So is Ryder. He fell in love with Michigan and every time we drove across the border into Indiana he told us how he wanted to go to Michigan. In fact, he’s still talking about it today.

Things we got to do/see while in MI/IN:

My brother- in-law marry one of the sweetest, prettiest brides I’ve ever known.

My daughter walk the isle as a flower girl. So meticulous, she took her time placing petals precisely down the isle.

My hubs and his daddi-o in a tux. It had been exactly 1 year and 2 days shy of a month to the last time I saw them in tuxes, at our wedding. Sigh. I love tuxes.

We danced our booty’s off at the reception of said bride and groom.

I got to slow dance with my hubs. We should really do that more often, babe.

Slow danced with my man-baby, Cortland.

Zach and Ryder got visit a hospital in the middle of the night to get an asthma attack under control. So I didn’t experience this first hand, but it was easier to send them then to wake up everyone. Have I mentioned that asthma SUCKS???

The effects of an adrenaline shot, mixed with a steroid shot and a dose of Tylenol with Codeine. Have you ever seen a 2 year old on all this stuff? What a freak.

Lake Michigan which is, well, enormous. And beautiful.

My kids run and play on the beach of Lake Michigan. Too sweet.

Visit a fabulous outlet mall. Have I ever told you that I love to shop? That’s a fact that will never change. Ever.

Meet some very sweet, fun new people who love my brother-in-law and his new bride very, very much.

Overall, I give this trip 8 stars out of a possible 10. It lost points due to the asthma attack and the smell of my vehicle once we arrived home.

Mack and Margie – your day was perfect and we are thankful to be part of it. Thank you for letting us share in your joy. Welcome to the family, Margie!!!

xoxo

Michigan City, Here We Come

2010-09-17T20:46:00.001-05:00

We have less than 200 miles to go until we are in Michigan City, IN for my bil’s wedding. We left yesterday morning and drove for 9 hours to Springfield, IL. That was fun. Have you ever spent 9 hours in a car with a 9, 4, 2 and 2 month old? If you’d like to experience it, let me know. They’re available for rental.

Truthfully, I’m surprised how well it’s gone. Naps were had, movies were watched and snacks were consumed. Lot’s of snacks. If you know me, then you know that snacks make me happy. And I don’t travel without them. It seems I’ve passed this on to my children as well, so at one of our stops yesterday we spent $30 on snacks. And no, there was nothing healthy in our snack bag.

A little Applebee’s take out for dinner, followed by some pool time, completed the first leg of our trip.

Zach’s brother is getting married tomorrow and he, and Emmerson, are in the wedding. While they’re getting Mack married, I’ll be hanging with my boys, praying they can keep their little mouths shut for the ceremony. Bribery may be in order tomorrow. The kids are excited for the party because it seems, not only have I passed on my love of snacks to my children, but my love of dancing as well. I’m so proud. My motto: shake whatcha mama gave ya.

We’re having fun now, mom.

Crashed.

Too much time in the car will make a guy crazy.

Hotels. Such a party.

Here’s what Cort thinks about 9 hours in the car.

4 more hours? WHY???

So, I Might Just Be a Total Success

2010-09-13T14:00:00.001-05:00

First of all, I would like to tell you all that my husband came home EARLY from his elk hunt. I would also like to point out that this is virtually unheard of. However, I assure you, I’m not complaining. Welcome home hubs.

Clearly we survived the 10 days he was gone and I am happy to report that I feel I did an exceptional job as a single mom. Of course, there were days I considered going back to work but I hung in there and haven’t gotten myself a job. Yet.

I managed to, finally, find a routine for the punks and it has been almost peaceful. Amazing how a routine makes us all work better around here. Now I must master getting the husband to understand, and follow, the routine. That could be a challenge but I’m determined to keep things running smoothly. Emmerson is even taking naps every day and going to bed without any issues.

Cortland is pretty much sleeping through the night now too. He’s been joining us at bedtime for stories and then going to bed when Em and Ry do, meaning he’s sleeping from about 8:45 – 4 or 5am. I feel as though I’ve conquered the world.

The biggest news? Ryder is rocking the potty training! He’s staying dry throughout nap and at bedtime. He can get to the bathroom all by his little self. I’m a miracle worker. It’s true!

In addition to getting my children to sleep like I want them to, as well as to stop using their underwear as a toilet, I’ve also proven that I excel at pulling weeds. Don’t believe me? Look at this:

Those are weeds people. Lot’s of ‘em. It’s a little gift my dad left us when we bought his house. Very kind of him, don’t you think? The best part of this gift is that it’s directly out my kitchen windows. What a view.

Yesterday, while all of my children napped, at the same time, for 3 hours, I decided I couldn’t take the view any longer.

One trash can. Full.

You can’t even tell that I had made a dint at this point. So I pulled. And pulled. And pulled. And sweated a lot. And maybe even cursed my dad.

I found this shovel underneath all of the weeds. I’m still trying to figure out how long it’s been in there. And if my dad ever wondered where it had gone.

I’m a go-getter.

It’s like a whole new world outside my windows. A naked, new world. Of course, I still have to get the Round-Up involved but I’d say this is an enormous improvement from what it was.

Unfortunately, I still have another corner to tackle.

That will be a project for Zach.

Welcome home, honey.

My Little Monster

2010-09-09T09:28:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Miss Emmerson started her first day of preschool (second year and we’ve moved to three days a week, instead of two. Woot! Woot!) Little Miss Independent had no issue being dropped off and barely told me good-bye. Welcoming back a routine has been the highlight of the week, besides the fact that Cortland is sleeping like, well, me.

Before we left the house she told Ryder, “Ryder, I’m really going to miss you when I’m at school. But I’ll be back.” I have absolutely NO idea how she can go from that sweet to the “melt-down queen” in a matter of seconds.

After we dropped Em off, the boys and I headed to PATs so Ryder could have a little “school time” too. He did such a great job and was busy the entire time we were there. It was when it was time to clean up for circle time that Ryder choose to show everyone how he not only rocks the ‘fro, but the meltdown as well.

He had been holding on to a plastic lizard since the first 10 minutes we were there. Oh, how he loved the lizard and I guess he thought we were going to take the lizard home, which was NOT the plan.

He started out just whining about the lizard, “Mommy, I wuv the wizard.”

“I know you do Ry, but we can’t take him home with us. We need to leave him here so other kids can play with him. You can play with him next time.”

“I don’t want to weave him mommy!” He’s getting a little louder at this point.

“I know Ryder. But we need to put him away so we can have circle time. See all of your friends over there?”

“NO MOMMY!”

“Ryder, you have to put the lizard back. It’s time for circle time and snack. Let’s move it.”

“NO MOMMY!!!”

At this point I pick him up and we go into the hallway. The tears are flowing. He has a death grip on the lizard. Come on kid. Put the lizard down. No one has to get hurt. Work with me. (There’s nothing like your kid having an enormous meltdown in front of 10 other kids and their mom’s to make you feel extremely confident as a parent.) It’s a like a hostage situation gone horribly wrong. And I’m totally botching the negotiations.

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I WUV THE WIZARD MOMMY!!!!!!”

“NO MOMMY!!!!!!”

I try my famous distraction technique.

“Hey Ry, look! The kids are having snack. Don’t you want to have snack too?”

“I WANT THE WIZARD MOMMY!”

I’m sweating. My heart is racing. How in the hell am I going to get the lizard? I have to get the lizard. Clearly my distraction technique is a joke.

At this point a sweet lady (I think the director, maybe? Wouldn’t that be my luck? I’m sure our mug shots are hanging up with a note: do not, under any circumstances, allow these two into future playgroups) comes over to help.

She gives her best negotiating skills a try only to get HIT by my little monster. That’s right. To my absolute HORROR he hits her. Not once either. Every time she attempts to speak to him. I’m mortified. I consider leaving him there. Finally, I make my move. I lunge at him (thank goodness I worked out the day before. I was ready for action.) taking him to the ground. We wrestle. I’m finally able to get the lizard from his sticky hands. I run into the classroom and throw it into the bin before running back into the hallway. We’ve got no time to lose here.

Go! Go! Go!

Sweet Stephanie is bringing a bag of crackers to him. I quickly give her the cut throat sign. It’s not my fault he carried the hostage situation throughout circle- time and snack. Sorry Charlie. I grab his hand, pick up the baby carrier and run down the hall. All confidence in my parenting, and hostage negotiation, skills is lost. Gone forever. I’m a total fraud.

We then sit in car for seven minutes while the little monster refuses to buckle up. I refuse to move. The baby screams. I sweat. Ryder smirks. Consider leaving him again when he finally buckles up and we’re able to leave.

Well. That was fun. Can’t wait until next week.

SOS.

2010-09-07T21:48:00.001-05:00

Zach’s been gone exactly 5 days and I’m pretty much over this whole “going at it alone” gig I’ve been handed. How many husbands do you know that get to man-overboard their sweet, loving wives to elk hunt for 12 days while they’re home with the kids? To date, I know of 3 since they are all hunting together. I mean, seriously. I couldn’t even get a hotel room for my birthday.

With that said, I’ve been keeping the children occupied since he left with play dates, shopping, play doh and one sleep over in my bed gone bad. Do you let your kids sleep with you? Last night I had two in my bed and it made for about the worst night of sleep I’ve ever had. Not to mention, now Ryder is upstairs yelling at me that he wants to ask me a question. Wanna know what the question is? “Mommy, I want to lay with you.” First of all Ryder, that is not a question but a statement. Second of all, there is no way in hell I can share my bed with you another night. Now, be a good boy and go. to. sleep. NOW. Mommy has important things to do, like update her blog.

We went to the cabin on Saturday which was fun for all. Emmerson and Ryder wore their little selves out (don’t you love it when a plan comes together?) and I got some sun. Hopefully, I didn’t burn anyone’s retina's while sunning myself.

Nothing says lake fun like a bounce house, complete with slide.

Today I took all three little punks to the Y so I could actually workout. What a little treat for me, right? Let me tell you something – getting the checked in for the first time was a complete cluster. Why is there no information on the website about all the damn things you have to do in order to get ONE WHOLE HOUR TO YOURSELF??? I stand in line for about 5 minutes only to find out they have to have socks. Of course, 2 are in flip-flops and Cort’s rolling barefoot. Take all 3 kids to the front desk and purchase 3 pairs of socks. Total? $3.03. Head back to the line and ask Emmerson and Ryder to put on their socks. Emmerson puts on hers. Ryder looks at me like I’ve asked him to give me the square root of 967. Get up to the check-in only to find out they should have taken my picture at the front desk because without it I can’t pick up my kids. I consider, for a moment, this might not be a bad thing. Look down and Emmerson has taken off the socks. Sometimes I think they just like to screw with me. Get 4 socks on 4 little feet, hand them all over and run to class, which I am now 10 minutes late to. Did I mention we left 20 minutes early and live about 3 minutes away? Awesome.

I am thrilled to report tomorrow is Em’s first day of preschool (she went 2 days last year and is moving up to 3 days a week). This means that 3 days a week I will only have 2 children for 2.5 hours. GLORIOUS!!! I’d also like to point out that next year Emmerson will be in Kindergarten and Ryder will start preschool. Woot! Woot!

So I’m Grossy. So What?

2010-08-27T16:01:00.001-05:00

This morning my daughter proved, once again, how I am excelling at this parenting gig. I’m so thankful that she does everything she can to help me shine like the supa-star I am.

Meltdowns are pretty common around here and truthfully, they make me crazy. CRAZY. Oh, I can’t begin tell you how crazy they make me, but not one of my kids seem to care. And when I say they’re common, I mean like, daily. Multiple times per day. (Have I mentioned that they make me crazy? They sure do.) I really don’t know what to do about all of these meltdowns because they make me so crazy I can’t even begin to deal with them in a proper manner. BUT! I have a book that is supposed to help me end the meltdowns and it seems like it might be the answer to my prayers!

While grocery shopping today, I was able to really give the method in the book a try. Before we even left the house I asked Emmerson and Ryder if they had their ears on and if they were working. After a quick check I was assured by both of them that the ears were, in fact, functioning. On the way to the store we discussed that we would NOT be purchasing any toys today but only what was on our grocery list. Of course, everyone said they understood and promised to behave.

Not even three minutes into our shopping excursion and we pass by a lunchbox that is purple and has kitty’s on it (two of Emmerson’s favorite things. Ever.) Of course she spotted it like I can spot my favorite bottle of wine in a liquor store. Cue first meltdown which entailed tears, whining, stomping, muttering under her breath and loudly stating that she, “didn’t want that grossy lunchbox anyway. It’s so grossy. Mommy is grossy too.” Really? Well guess who doesn’t care if she’s “grossy”? THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE. So I just let her carry on about the lunchbox and how grossy she thinks I am, per the advise in the book. Ignore it. They’ll quit when they don’t get any reaction for you. Oh, how difficult it is to ignore, but I prevailed.

After carrying on about this lunchbox for about 10 minutes she finally gave up, realizing that her gross mom wasn’t going to budge. Look at that, we got through one and I didn’t even lose my cool.

Mom: 1. Emmerson: 0.

Isle 7: Welcome to Meltdown City.

While going down the cookie isle we pass by the Oreo’s. I say “we” as in Ryder, Cortland and myself. Ol’ Emmerson stands at the Oreo’s pointing. I turn back and tell her that we are not getting Oreo’s today which was apparently the WORST thing in the entire world that I could ever say.

It started out with just whining. I ignored it and kept on walking. Then she got louder. And louder. And louder. Until she was screaming at the top of her lungs about the Oreo’s. Ryder covered his ears, Cort started to cry. But I stayed strong and ignored her.

Well apparently no one in Wal-Mart has ever read the book I am reading because the looks on their faces said, “GIVE THE DAMN KID THE OREO’S!!” not, “Stay strong mom. You can do this.” They also said, “What in the hell is wrong with you woman? Shut that kid up. NOW” not, “Don’t worry, she’ll quit as soon as she sees she isn’t getting a reaction.” There were multiple dirty looks and lot’s of people telling her it was okay. Wal-Mart was full of comedians today too. Funny old men who shared their love of Oreo’s with her and women who pointed out what a bad day we were having. Really? Thanks Sherlock. LOT’s of raised eyebrows and plenty of whispering. None of which was about how I was doing an exceptional job staying strong, just like the book says, I’m sure.

There is nothing like a 4 year old having the meltdown of their life to make you appreciate parenthood. Cheers everyone!

After four isles of her screaming about the cookies I finally grabbed her arm and explained that I was going to pull her pants down and spank her little booty if she didn’t knockitoffrightthisverysecond. So she did. And we finished up our shopping without any further incidents.

In closing I’d like to give a big shout out to Emmerson for making today’s shopping trip a memorable one indeed.

Mom: 1. Emmerson: 1,756,345.

I’ve Taught Them Something!

2010-08-25T07:56:00.001-05:00

After reading the "pout perfected post" my husband thought it was ridiculous that there was no description of my “pout”. (I knew letting him read this blog was dangerous but there was no way I was prepared for this. It’s like all of a sudden he’s the expert here.)

However, upon closer examination I may have discovered that my children and I may share similar “pouting” qualities. There is a small possibility that I have passed on some pouting gene to my kids. God help us all. With that said, I give you my pout.

Typical episode includes, but not limited to: rolling of eyes, muttering under breath, limited conversation, answering “nothing” (a hundred times if I feel like it) to the question “what is wrong?”, round-table discussion with girlfriends, harshly closing cabinet doors, drawers, doors, etc., flaring of nostrils, and scowling. I don’t believe I cross my arms and stomp off but you would be advised to verify that with my husband, as I’m sure he’ll report it has happened at least once in our 5 years of marriage.

And you know what I say to this? I’m actually teaching them something!!! I’ve been so worried that I’ve failed them miserably (especially this summer) but it turns out they do listen to their mom. I knew I was rockin’ this parenting gig.

In related news, I was able to get a picture of Daddy’s Princess pouting and knew you’d all be eager to take a peek:

Definitely related.

What Happens in 5 Years? Apparently A LOT.

2010-08-23T08:36:00.001-05:00

On Friday the hubs and I passed a milestone in our marriage – we celebrated 5 years together.

April 2003. Just the 3 of us.

August 2005. Honeymooning it up in Jamaica.

Fall 2006. We have a new addition.

November 2007. Another kiddo. This is Ryder in the hospital with RSV. Scariest ordeal of our lives.

May 2008. Celebrating with friends.

Summer 2009. Wyoming. Oh, how we love Wyoming!

September 2009. Zoobilee.

Winter 2010. Cutest punks ever.

Winter 2010. Our sweet family.

June 2010. Newest addition. Our hands are officially FULL.

Happy anniversary babe. It’s not always been easy but it’s always worth it. Here’s to the next 50. xoxo

The Pout, Perfected.

2010-08-17T08:12:00.001-05:00

Well, it’s finally happened – hell has frozen over. Not really but my husband did read my blog last night. I wanted to show him the pictures that I posted yesterday and he ended up reading back about 8 posts. The very best part of this? He actually said, “Wow! I can’t believe everything I sleep through.” My response? A karate chop to the Adams apple. That’ll teach him to sleep soundly.

Now I’d like to share something with you that my kids have all perfected and it’s what we like to call “the pout”. We typically get to witness this gem on rare occasions, (*ahem*) like when the kids are told pop is not an option at 8:30 in the morning. Or when they are told they may not have gum because it is bedtime. Sometimes we get to see “the pout” when they are told it’s time for lunch. Or dinner. Or nap. Or time to leave. We also get to see “TP” when they are told we will not be purchasing any toys at the store when we do our weekly grocery shopping. Oh, the many reasons we get to see “the pout”. The pout rears its’ head in many different forms, depending on the each child.

Take for instance this guy:

A typically display of “the pout” includes, but is not limited to: head in hands, arguing, saying the word but every third word spoken to him, head on table (this usually occurs at mealtime), arms crossed tightly across chest, chewing on fingernails, and if all else fails, tears. Pout lasts anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 hours. Can usually be interrupted by finding a way to make him laugh.

Then we have this girl:

Pout usually includes, but is not limited to: extremely loud bursts of “HUMPH”, tightly crossed arms, sighing, rolling of eyes, stomping, muttering under her breath, phrases such as, “I quit this house!!!”, or “I want a new family”, tears and one time slamming a door. Pouts will last anywhere from 2 hours to 2 days and can usually be quelled by kissing her ass.

Next up with his own version of “the pout” is this dude:

Pout clearly includes: crossed arms and stomping. Also includes, but not limited to: sweet phrases such as, “I don’t wuve you anymore,” and simply yelling, “MAAAAMAAAAAAA!”. Tears, avoiding all eye contact and irregular bouts of "HUMPH”. Pouts will last anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes and can be nipped in the bud by confusion and distraction.

Last up is him:

Pouts include: endless crying. Last anywhere from 2 minutes to 10. Can be ended by being held, burped, fed or lying on his tummy.

I like to tell myself “the pout” is something they will all outgrow in the next year or two. It gives me hope. In my heart I know the pouts aren’t going to end anytime in the next 16-18 years, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

Mug Shots

2010-08-16T08:56:00.001-05:00

This is a mug shot of the dude who’s responsible for getting me out of bed approximately every 3-4 hours a night. He has no concern for my well-being, or the fact that I happen to ENJOY sleeping, probably more so than the next guy. Memorize this face. He’s trouble.

This is a mug shot of the self-proclaimed “Bad Guy” and his sister who has renamed herself, “Daddy’s Princess”. (For the record, the dad thinks this name is simply fabulous while I’m still on the fence). The Bad Guy has informed me he is, in fact, going to grow up and be a “bad guy” which concerns me, but what can I do? Kids have to have dreams, right? What kind of mother would I be to stifle his dreams? The princess says she’s going to grow up and be a horse doctor. At least one of them is on the right path.

Don’t you just love those curls? Oh, they make my heart hurt I love them so much. So far, the night owl’s hair is as straight as his mama’s but I’m not giving up hope just yet. Rockin’ the fro. It’s what my kids to best.

They’re Out to Get Me…

2010-08-12T10:07:00.001-05:00

Some days I think my kids are out to get me. Let me rephrase that. MOST days I think my kids are out to get me. Sure, they seem innocent enough but once you get past those cute smiles and sweet curls, it’s easy to see they have it in for me.

Their biggest trick usually takes place between 12am-4am. That’s when they really like to stick it to me. Take last night, for instance…

9pm: Bath time. It’s late because we had a family outing and got home late. (And you also may remember that I’ve been a complete failure at keeping these kids on a schedule. Case in point). Finish bath, read stories, put Cheech & Chong in bed. Head downstairs to relax before Cort’s 10pm feeding.

9:30pm: Ryder is upstairs teasing Emmerson, “Can’t GET ME!” Zach heads upstairs to take on the role as the “fun ruiner”. (I remind him he’s got nothing on me.) Ryder is actually in his crib teasing Emmerson. Thankfully, she has fallen asleep and isn’t worried about finding him in his very clever hiding spot.

10:00pm: Feed Cortland. Put him down in bassinet. He’s sleeping soundly. If I hurry I can sleep before he wakes up for his next feeding. Must act quickly.

10:15pm: Laying in bed with my eyes closed, praying for sleep. I can hear Ryder upstairs yelling for me. “Moooommmmmmyyyy!” Is this kid serious? Zip it little man. I try not to move, hoping he’ll quiet down and go to sleep. I mean really, it’s all I want.

10:19pm: “Moooommmmyyyyy!!!!” Okay. I get it. You need something. Head upstairs. He tells me he wants to sleep with me. Really? When have you ever slept with me? Compromise with a five minute rock in the rocking chair After I turn on his closet light he agrees to go to sleep.

10:42pm: Back in bed. Hard to sleep when you’re annoyed.

11:22pm: Must have fallen back asleep. Startled awake by a 39” little person who refers to me as mommy. Who knows how long he’s been standing there. One word: Creepy. Take him back upstairs and put him in his crib. (Beginning to think we might be done with said crib since it isn’t keeping him anywhere.) He wants some milk and is protesting any sleep until he gets the milk. I’m a sucker who wants to sleep. He gets milk. Head back to bed.

12:37am: I am awakened by someone crying. Loudly. Drag myself out of bed to see what in the hell is wrong now. Seems Emmerson has had a bad dream about fire ants (we saw them earlier in the evening and we told the kids to leave them alone because they’d bite. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to tell them. Hind site. 20/20.) Lay down with her with the intensions of staying until she’s calmed down….

1:24am: Can hear someone crying. Sounds far away…Open my eyes to find myself still in Emmerson’s bed. So much for those intensions. At least I got about an hour of sleep…Head back downstairs to make a bottle for Cortland who, by the sounds of his screaming, clearly needs to eat again. Contemplating how much I might get for all of these kids. Decide not enough since they haven’t had enough time to really hone in on their manual labor skills yet. Perhaps in another year or 2.

2:00am: Put baby in bassinet. Get back into bed. Pray for sleep. Is that too much to ask for??? Really???

5:47am: Baby is awake again. Dance to kitchen to make bottle. Have successfully slept for 3 hours. STRAIGHT. Not one interruption. It’s a miracle. Feed baby. Back to bed.

7:45am: Husband has completely overslept & jumps out of bed. He’s feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day after sleeping soundly for 8 hours. Straight. Consider punching him but decide better of it. I’m not looking for jail time. Although…I might actually get some solid sleep….Decide I should probably get up now so I can get a couple of things done before everyone is awake. Start this post. Post is not finished until 10am.

How I Spent my Friday Night...

2010-08-10T08:24:00.000-05:00

So some of you might remember me telling you, a long time ago, that I had stepped up my invovlement with the Relay For Life and joined the committee this year. (Anyone? Aimee, I know you remember. You're such a die-hard follower. Well, not to mention you're on my team so you were actually there this past weekend...) In case you forgot, or didn't get the memo, I joined the committee as the "corporate sponsor chair." I also had my team, "Sharon's Legacy: live. laugh. love." which ended up NOT being the original team since a good portion of the team dropped like flies.

If you've never been to a Relay it's hard to understand the event and what it entails. I can tell you it's about walking (seriously. 12 hours of walking. Not just you personally, the team divides up the 12 hours, but you walk a LOT). I can tell you it's about raising money for the American Cancer Society. I can tell you it's to honor and remember those who have battled cancer. I can tell you that it's just an overall moving experiance. It's something I do to honor my mom who died from cancer 7 years ago. It's something I do to raise money for a cure. To protect my children from this awful disease. To help protect YOUR children. To protect you.

I'm happy to report that my team raised almost $1600 this year and that we are all excited for next year, even though we just got done walking our asses off. We've already thought of different ways to raise more money as a team, ways to improve what we're doing. I'm proud to be a part of something so great and to do it with such an awesome group of friends. I'm thankful that there are people who believe in this cause and are willing to spend 12 hours walking to support it.

Here's the truth: cancer doesn't give a shit about you. It doesn't care if you have children. If you are a child. Whether or not you have insurance. It doesn't care what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive, whether or not you have a good support system to help you FIGHT. It doesn't care if you haven't fulfilled your dream of haivng children yet or raising the ones your have. Cancer doesn't discriminate. And it just doesn't care about you or your loved ones.

So here's to my awesome team. To all the teams who walked. To everyone who's been touched by cancer. To those of you who haven't yet, because you will be someday. And to my mom. Because I miss her more than I could ever tell you and because I plan on kicking cancer's sorry ass to honor her.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl!

2010-08-09T08:01:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, sweet girl. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by since I found out I was going to have a baby. I can remember so clearly the day I found out you were growing inside of me - I cried for 10 minutes straight and I couldn't wait for your daddy to get home so I could share the news with him. That was the day our journey together began and it is one of the sweetest days of my entire life.

Meeting you was just, perfect. After feeling you grow, move and hiccup inside of me for 9 months I was more than ready to meet you and you certainly did not disappoint. When I held you in my arms for the first time it was as though everything in my life finally made sense, my heart was complete. You have filled my heart with more love, joy, hope and laughter than I ever dreamed possible. And already, the years are flying by.

I don't know how it is possible that my little baby girl is already four years old. You are such a sweet, loving little girl and your heart is bigger than I could ever hope for. You are a mother hen, always worried about the boys, trying to make sure they are doing the right thing and definitely making sure I know when the aren't. You are sassy and full of attitude and already I wonder if we will survive your teenage years. I just can't imagine you having more attitude than you have at four and I really hope it isn't possible.

You love to color, paint your nails, horses, the color purple, mac-n-cheese, going to the library, swimming, dancing, making up songs, reading books, playing house with Ryder, bossing your brothers around, going out to eat (you love when we get to go to "Panera's" for a girls lunch), shoes, purses, unicorns, baths, candy, cooking, shopping, your family, dresses and barbies. You are a girly-girl and I wouldn't change you for the world.

I love watching you grow and learn. I love to hear your songs. I love your hugs and kisses. I pray that our relationship grows through the years and we remain close, even though I know it won't always be smooth sailing. I pray you will always remember that you can talk to me and there isn't a problem we can't work through together. I hope you will always know that I am your biggest fan and I will always be here cheering you on and loving you through it all. You have made my life such a sweet place to be and I love you more than you will ever know. You have forever changed my life, my heart, my dreams and who I am, simply by being you and I thank God for you, every single day.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

Mommy

Mom of the Year...

2010-08-04T07:26:00.000-05:00

First of all, I'd just like to say that there are some days I really excell at this parenting gig more than others. And I've been having a lot of those "excelling" days lately, so because of my stellar parenting I thought I would share with you, dear readers, all the ways and reasons I rock.

Ryder, who is only 2, has begun to tell us he's going to "cut you" when he hears something he doesn't like. I've yet to determine where he's picked up this dandy since I assure you, neither the hubs, or myself, is in the habit of telling anyone that. Although, I'm thinking it might be a good line to start using, even if it could get a restaining order slapped in my face.

There was a time when I had my kids on a good schedule. You know, where our day was pretty much laid out, we did fun stuff, had a set bedtime. And then we decided to move and all hell broke loose. I just can't get the bedtime thing down lately. By lately, I mean, the last 4 months. And speaking of lately, I haven't been out of bed before 7:30 in like 3. Let me tell you, it makes for a short morning when it doesn't really start until 9. We pretty much eat breakfast, directly followed by lunch. Who needs morning snack?  Breakfast is morning snack around here.

I haven't had Emmerson practice writing all summer long. That's right folks. The entire summer. It was something I had planned on having her do but I pretty much dropped it like a bad habit. By the time she starts preschool this fall she'll have forgotten everything she learned last year and everyone will realize I'm a fraud. I'm afraid my awesome classroom party treats will not outshine the fact I've done nothing to enhance my little girls learning the entire summer.

My children may or may not have watched more tv this summer than I like and I may or may not turn it on when they start driving me crazy. I'm hormonal. I'm exhausted. And I have begun to allow Crazy Town to help nanny my children. I'm sorry but it's free and I've been in need of a little help this summer since I apparently don't know when to quit when it comes to having kids.

Emmerson's 4th birthday is Sunday and guess who hasn't ordered the cake? I know, not a tough case to crack. Thankfully I got the "pillow pet" ordered, however, since I waited until Monday to order said pillow, I had to pay $52 for a $20 pillow. Oh, it certainly pays to procrasinate. Hopefully, I'm able to actually get to the store she will get more than just the pillow pet. Oh, and let's all hope I can actually remember to order her cake today. I'm not promising anything though.

And let's talk potty training for a minute, shall we? Emmerson started potty training herself when she was 18 months old. By the time she was 2 she pretty much had it down. It was amazing. And awesome. And EASY. Ryder will be 3 in 2 months and guess who is still crapping his pants every chance he gets? And for 2 days now he's had explosive diarrhea. In his underware. That manages to slide down his legs. Onto the floor.  Oh, it's been a lot of fun around here people. He just hasn't grasped the whole, tell mom when you have to go, concept. I'm hoping we can get that one down before he's 5. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have it down by 7.

I'm telling you, I'm a mess this summer. Seriously. I've got night sweats going on like I'm running marathons in my sleep. My kids are running around in their underware. Pooping on the floor. Cutting people up. And talking smack. I've completely let everything go to hell in a handbasket and now, for the sake of the small amout of sanity I have left, I must regain some control...

Someone send a nanny.

Oh, He Used to Hate Me...

2010-07-29T00:42:00.001-05:00

37 years ago today (okay, by now yesterday) the world was blessed with a little baby boy who somewhat resembled a spider monkey, thanks to his extremely skinny and long limbs. Yes folks, today is my brother's birthday. For the record, I would like to point out that he is OLDER than I am and he will forever stay that way.

He started out sweet enough. In fact, I think he rather liked me when I came along, 10 days before his 4th birthday. Somewhere along they way though, things changed and he decided that I was a bigger pain in the ass than I was playmate (who knows what in hell is wrong with this kid, right? Everyone knows what a fun time I am). I don't remember when things changed, because let's face it, I don't really remember when things were right for us, but at some point things went downhill. And fast.

My brother and sister are both older than me (I'm not sure we would apply wiser to either of them though...) and they hated me, basically the first half of my life. There is no clear indication of what I ever did to either of them but thankfully, they both woke up and realized what true gem they had in a little sister. Anyhow, back to the point - they hated me. Was it really that bad, you ask? Uhhhh, yeah.

Take for instance the time they thought it would be fun to put me on the doll bed and push me down the stairs. You wonder why I'm not a thrill seeker? Thank these two. It hurt like hell. And I fell off at the bottom.

Or what about the fact that my brother KNEW how scary the laugh at the end of Thriller was for me. Yet every. Single. Time. Our folks were gone, he'd crank the sterio AS LOUD as it would go so I could not escape that evil laugh. I'd hide my head in the pillows and scream just to drown out that damn laugh. I'm still not over it today.

And what about all the times he & my sister would fart and tell me it smelled like strawberries just so I'd take a whiff, only to about die? Oh sure, sometimes they'd change it up and tell me it was banana's but it never smelled like banana's. Or strawberries. Or oranges. Or apples. Just to be clear, I never fell for their alleged ability to fart fruit after I turned 4. Who makes their sweet, innocent little sister sniff farts anyway??? WHO I ask??? Those two. The evil ones. The old ones.

Let us not forget about all the times I was forced to cover for my brother. Like the time he snuck out of the house & took the moped to some girls house. (Beep-beep.) He might have gotten away with it if he wouldn't have taken it through the side of the yard. But it had snowed. Hello?? Did you ever think of the tracks? Obviously not. But who was there for him? ME. Or maybe I wasn't. I can't help it that it was funny. Especially the duct take on the moped after the crash. See - I'm still laughing about it today. Sorry brother. I do love you.

At any rate, we finally decided we liked each other and now are great friends. I've decided he doesn't suck nearly as much as I used to think and he's decided that I'm not quite as stupid as he used to think. Heartache will do that, you know. We're closer now than we've ever been and I'm not sure what I would do without him. He's my family. He loves me. He supports me. He takes care of me. And I try to do the same, although he'd tell you he doesn't need me like I need him. I like to think he does.

He dries my tears, holds my hand, tells me what a great job I'm doing and loves the shit out of me and my kids. So happy birthday big brother. Here's to you on you 37th year of life. I love you more than you will ever know. And I will always believe in you, the way you believe in me.

XOXO

Look What I Can Do!

2010-07-26T22:46:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report that I crossed off 2 of my 4 birthday wishes. That husband of mine really knows how to keep this girl happy...he's pretty smart and I'm pretty lucky. Unfortuntely I did not receive the night at the Hyatt but I did receive dinner at Chester's (o.m.g. I LOVE that place) and a totally kick-ass camera that my children will NEVER touch. EVER. In their whole lives. Here's a look at what I can do with my beautiful, awesome camera (thanks again husband for such a fabulous gift. Even if you've never even read my blog. Loser. I'm totally kidding about the loser part, not that he's never read this.)

oh.my.gosh. these kids are too flippin' cute.

watch out girls. this kid is gonna be a heartbreaker.

i have a little secret....

so sneaky...

ryder must not have been watching...

he strikes again!

these boots were made for walking, yo.

i love that little booty.

So we spent the weekend at my favorite aunt and uncles house this past weekend and it was so much fun. I'm almost convinced that we need to pack up and move to the country. However, I'm struggling to decide if I'm really a country girl or if I'm just in love with the idea of being one....

Back to my aunt & uncle. They are just awesome. And we had such a fun time at their ranch over the weekend, even if it was almost too hot to spend anytime outside. Hence, the slip-N-slide, which was a total hit for the kids. They took us to a mountain oyster fry on Saturday which was disgusting, at best. Thankfully they had brauts or I wouldn't have eaten. Look people, I'm not at all interesting in eating mountain oysters and it's particularily odd to me that any man would eat them, but whatever. We had a great time catching up with my aunt and uncle and are looking forward to letting the kids spend next summer with them. It's a win-win really - we get the summer off and they get some free help.

Who's the Birthday Girl?

2010-07-15T13:17:00.001-05:00

My birthday is Sunday. I wish I was still an age that I got excited to celebrate but after 21st they tend to be waaaay less exciting. 21 was a blast though - thanks mom and dad for a great party. Oh, and thanks Katy for falling down in QT that night...it still makes me laugh 12 years later. Now that I think about it, pretty much every time I've seen you fall still makes me laugh and you do tend to fall quite often. So thanks for being one of the clutziest people I've ever known.

Anyhow, the point of telling you my birthday is Sunday is because my husband (he got home about 7:30 this morning...HOORAY!) asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I quickly compiled a list that I intend to share with him later today. Here's an idea of what I'm hoping for:

~Dinner at Chesters. No kids. Delicious food. Lot's of wine.
~Camera. Wish I could tell you what kind I want but I'm not sure. Will probably make it difficult for him to get me the right one. Hoping someone at the store would be able to sell him a reeeeaaally nice camera. Do your job people. Upsell.
~Room at the Hyatt. Alone. No kids. No husband. Just me and the bed. And an entire day/night to SLEEP.
~Pretty blue Coach bag I've wanted for the last 6 months. I'm pretty sure I need this handbag. Even if I am currently using a diaper bag as a purse. Whatev.

That's pretty much the wish list thus far. I'm sure I'll add a couple of more options to the list since I like to give him choices, but for now this is where I am. I think I have a chance with the room at the Hyatt...until he finds out I'm rolling solo.

In other news, I am thrilled to report that I have slept in 3 hour stretches the last 2 nights. I'm like a brand new woman. It's amazing what a difference sleeping in 3 hour intervals can make. I'd love to tell you that I've been more productive then ever with my newfound sleep schedule, but I'd be lying and lying is something I try to avoid. I'm hopeful that within the next week I am back to the productive woman I used to know. I vaguely remember her...

Here's a picture of Cortland...pretty darn cute if I do say so myself!

My Guy Likes to Party All The Time

2010-07-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

My baby is 15 days old today. That means I haven't sleep in 16 days. Of all of the things that go with having a baby the one thing I completely forgot about was the lack of sleep. Cortland thinks it's a lot of fun to party most of the night. And when I say most of the night, I mean, pretty much all night long - he's up from about 2 - 5 or 6am. Holy hell. I'm tired people.

The husband man overboarded me on Saturday and I don't expect to see him until Thursday. I have to admit I was not pleased he had to go out of town but I'll make sure he makes it up to me. Namely, by letting me catch up on sleep and giving mama a little break from the ki ddos. And probably by spoiling me with a good bottle of wine. Oh, and maybe a pedi too. Might as well try to milk it for what I can, right? Rolling solo with a newborn, plus 2 shorties, ain't easy people.

I have high hopes that one day I will regain consciousness and no longer will I be walking around in a sleep deprived haze. However, I don't expect it to happen anytime soon, even if the doctor says he should be starting to sleep in 5 hour stretches anytime. Better to expect it NOT to happen than be disappointed if it doesn't.

In other news, I've gotten into my pre-preggo clothes so I've packed up the maternity clothes. If that doesn't make a girl happy I don't know what does. Besides new shoes. And handbags. And good wine. And sweet kids. And sleep. But whatever. I'm feeling good about it.

Currently I have 3 of 3 kids sleeping so I am going to attempt to take advantage of this glorious situation by sleeping too. Good night.

Meet the Newest Addition to our Fam-Dam

2010-07-08T15:27:00.000-05:00

If I was any sort of blogger I would have had this post up a week ago. However, if you've ever read this blog than you are well aware I'm simply an imposter. That's the "real reason" I don't update this thing regularly. Now that we've got that out of the way...

Per my previous post (Go back and read it. Right now.) I was scheduled to be induced on June 28th and that's exactly what happened.

This is us on our way to the hospital:

I love that belly...

I'll spare you the details but I will tell you it was quick (about 4 and a half hours) and easy.

Babies - I'm good at them.

I'm so excited to introduce you to our newest addtion!!!

Cortland Knox

7lbs 6oz

19 3/4" long

Don't you just want to eat him up??!

I love your little face!

My big brother loves me!

Here I am with my proud, big sister!

Chonger loves to give me kisses!

Me & my rockin' dad.

My huge feet. I'm going to be big like my daddio.

Mom showing off her very last masterpiece.

Mom is my biggest fan. She thinks I rock.

I've inherited my mom's love of sleep. Unless it's the middle of the night.

We're all doing great - thankfully the kids are adjusting just fine to having a baby around. I figured the Chonger would be in complete meltdown mode but he's quite pleased with his new brother. I seem to be the only one who's having any adjustment issues due to being up all night. It's the one thing I had forgotten about and it's harder than all the rest combined. It's fine - I'll sleep again one day. Until then I'll just make sure I have plenty of Visine in the house. I'm loving having 4 kids around and feel more blessed than I could ever imagine. One day we'll get a schedule down and I'll attempt to take 4 kids out in public.

Tomorrow's the DAY!!!

2010-06-27T23:13:00.000-05:00

Tonight marks the last time in my life that I will go to sleep with a baby growing in my belly. And while I am excited that soon I will be able to sleep on my right side, or better yet, my back, I have to admit that my heart is sad to know I will never feel a baby inside me again. Sure, we could keep on having kids but the hubs and I both know 4 is enough. And really, I'm ready to take my body back, have a glass of wine, end the heartburn once and for all.

I know I'm different from a lot of my friends in the fact that I truly LOVE being pregnant. It is, by far, one of the most amazing, beautiful things I've ever done in my life and I know that I am so blessed to be able to bring life into this world. It's something I seem to do well. I will miss being pregnant after tonight, even if I am more than ready to meet our final baby. I will go to sleep tonight with my baby tucked sweetly inside of me for the last time and in the morning we get to see who's been growing in there for the last 39 weeks.

Tomorrow is also the day people will begin to look at me and wonder if we know anything about birth control. It is NOT the day I begin driving a minivan. However, tomorrow may mark the end to my sanity. Or it may just be the day we buy stock in wine.

So here's to my sweet, final baby - I am so grateful to have carried you inside of me. You are a gift from God and I am so excited to finally meet you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms and see your sweet face. And I am thankful that God has chosen ME to be your mommy.

Until we meet tomorrow, goodnight sweet baby.

2 Trips to the Hospital and a Microphone

2010-06-17T08:50:00.000-05:00

We had a rockin' weekend, complete with 2 trips to the hospital and the discovery of one completely rotten chimney. I know, you're probably jealous and I can't say that I blame you.
Friday night I started having some contractions so I thought it would be a good idea to have a walk around the nieghborhood to see what that might do for them. Look, I consider myself proactive. A real go getter. No sense in sitting around waiting on contractions when we can be walking to get them going, right? Isn't that what every pregnant mom does? Right? At any rate, the walking did the trick and they were coming every 2-5 minutes and were getting more intense, just like they're supposed to. So we loaded up (have you ever seen me on vacation? I don't pack lightly.) and headed to the hospital, hoping that this wouldn't be a false alarm. Make our way to labor and delivery where they get me changed into a gown (which is totally hot. I really should consider getting my own...) and hooked up the monitors to see what's going on. Sure enough, the contractions are still coming every 2-5 minutes. They check me & it seems I've moved backwards since my doctor's appointment on Thursday (dialated to a 1, 70% effaced & baby was at -2). The resident now tells me I'm dialated to a 1, 50% effaced & baby is at -3. At any rate, they send us walking. The same lap. For an hour. In the middle of the night. Let me tell you, my husband did his best to annoy me so I would tell him to just go back to the room but I'm determined to make him suffer with me, any opportunity I get. So we walked. And the contractions came even quicker. And started to hurt. Great sign, one would think. Until she checks me & tells me NOTHING has changed. So they send us home with instructions to take benedryl & get some sleep. AWESOME.

This is the same game Ryder played and it nearly put me over the edge. For 2 weeks I had regular contractions that never went anywhere. 2 weeks people. It was hell. I finally told my doctor - you have to do something. Every single day I think I might have a baby & he won't come. I can't live like this anymore. HELP ME. So she did. I was induced with the stubborn little guy and it was great. I'm hoping for an outcome simlar after my appointment on Thursday (if this one doesn't decided to arrive before then). I mean, a girl can only wish/pray her water breaks so many times in a day, you know?

Okay, so the rotten chimney. What.A.Nightmare. Zach decided he was going to reside it on Sunday, you know, really quickly, to get it off our list of things to do. Once he got the siding off, this is what he found:

Not exactly what one wants to find when they are simply wanting to replace some siding. What started as a small project, ended up being a rebuild of the chimney. We considered the 7 dead birds inside the chimney a bonus. Simply stated: awesome. However, the great news is that the repairs are done and there's one more thing we've knocked off our to-do list. I use the term "we've" loosely in this instancel since the only thing I really did was take some pictures. Sometimes I like to think of myself as the supervisior. This was one of those times.

The rotten chimney is what led to my little Chonger stepping on a nail. You might be quite surprised by this incident considering the stellar parents we are, and anyone who knows us knows that we very rarely make any parenting mistakes (*ahem*), but yes, we made a poor choice this particular day. It was probably due to the heat (It was like 90 degrees out. And humid.) and stress of what had been uncovered that led to poor judgement. And lack of fluids. At any rate, we let Ryder play outside while Zach demolished our existing chimney. That meant lots of boards that were previously nailed down were thrown on the deck. And clearly there were nails attached to said boards. I like to think our 2 year old is above average when it comes to intelligence but he really let us down on this one. It was his ear piercing shriek that first clued me in something wasn't "right". (They don't call me super slueth for nothin', folks.) When I got out there Zach had pulled his little foot off the board (The thought of that just makes me sick. GAG.) and Ryder was hyserical. Once it started bleeding, I started crying. (You now know who NOT to call in an emergency since I clearly panic.) We got it all cleaned up and he was probably fine but I'm a cancer and a worrier so I insisted Zach take him to the emergency room to ensure his little baby foot wasn't going to fall off. After 2 hours there, we had confirmation the foot wasn't going anywhere. I am happy to report that he has since become very careful when on the deck, taking extra precautions to help protect those sweet feet:

"I'm not going to get any nails in my feet daddy."

I'm telling you, he's gifted.

And that is how we spent one of our remaining weekends as a family of 5. I'm certain that anyday all of these contractions I've been having are going to be the real deal and a baby will be on its' way. Or, perhaps I will just spend the rest of the summer pregnant. That would be ideal, really. Afterall, it's helping to cut down on the expectations at home - I just blame my lack of motivation on pregnancy and poof! I'm off the hook. Let's all hope after the doctor today we get some good news that this baby is ready. I'm ready for some wine.

It's Only Been a Month, or Two, Since My Last Post....I'm BACK!

2010-06-10T16:26:00.001-05:00

April 17h. That was the last time I posted anything on this blog o' mine. But let me tell you something - I've really been busy. Since then, we've sold our house, bought a house and moved. And my pregnancy is nearing the end. So you see, for once I really do have a good reason for not updating this thing. I'm legit. Too legit to quit. Really.

I had finally decided on what I wanted to do with our dining room when we decided to list our house (long story but it was a quick decision that ended up being the right one). We went from this:

Well, that's cute.

And really, brown.

To this:

Oh, don't you LOVE this?!

I really do have great taste.

Such an improvement. And I LOVED it. The fixture was fabulous...we FINALLY put up something nice and then we go and move. The story of my life. Seriously - did you get an idea of what was up before? Yikes. Oh, and please note that I did NOT, I repeat, NOT, have anything to do with the painting. I've been banned because, well, I suck at it. Let me tell you something, I don't feel bad about this banning either. I've tried slacking on the housework to get banned from that too but so far the hubs isn't taking the bait.

So here's where we are now:

This is before we moved in. Just so you know.

And here's an idea of some little things we've done....

This light? NOT my style.

This one is my style. Fabulous.

Well that's an idea of something we've done so far, because I need to get the rest of my "afters" taken. It's called the pregnancy stupids and it's a very real, serious issue. And I clearly suffer from it. Let me tell you this: I've peeled more flipping wallpaper than one person should EVER have to peel in their lifetime. And I have a ton more to peel. 1989 was apparently the year of wallpaper and this house was COVERED. I'm not complaining though - I'm so thankful for the quick sale of our home (we put a sign in our yard on Friday, a guy stopped by because he LOVED it, saw it on Sunday and put in a full price offer, which we accepted that day. What-what!!) and our new home that is so much bigger than the one we had lived in for 7 years. Everyone has their own bathroom now, where at our old house we were squeezing 5 of us in the same bathroom. Really. It was like the phone booth trick, however, we never tried to get more than 5 of us in there. This is definetely a move in the right direction.

Now, onto this preganncy of mine...We're almost to the finish line! I've been so blessed with an easy pregnancy that it really isn't far to so many who suffer for 9 months, so I'm not bragging here. Simply stating the facts. We chose not to find out who's baking in there this time (I should clarify - I made that decision for the both of us. Sometimes a girl just has to take the lead. So I did.) since it's the last one we'll be haivng. And yes, we'll be making this is the last one - we do know what causes all these little babies, I just like being preggo. Call me wierd. I don't care.

Now that we're settled (ahem, never mind the few lingering boxes that I've yet to do anything with. They probably have more to do with my attempts to getting banned than anything else) I plan on getting back into the swing of things...meaning making time for the important stuff - you know, this blog, catching up on my favortie blogs, facebook, twitter. Okay, perhaps not the most important stuff, but rather the fun stuff. Sign me up for the fun. Even if pregnancy is easy for me it's still been 9 months, ya know?!

I'll get a picture up soon of me preggo since I don't I've put any up here. I'm such a loser. Maybe I'll have the hubs take one tonight. You guys are nothing, if not LUCKY. Be glad you read this. You'll be feeling extremely LUCKY after you get to see me knocked up. So just wait kids. I'll get one up here STAT.

The Case of the Missing Keys....

2010-04-17T16:58:00.000-05:00

The husband left this morning, before anyone should ever have to be out of bed, to get on a flight to Florida. Lucky bastard. In the meantime, I get to play single mom for the next 4 and a half days which would be much easier if I wasn't pregnant and could medicate with wine. I fully intend to be on the flight with him next year though, so if anyone is interested in keeping my kids while we're gone, let me know. The sooner I get them squared away the better.

I was prepared to sleep in this morning since I kept the kids up late last night (isn't that how it's supposed to work? Right?) but Ryder felt he'd had enough beauty rest at 6:45 (can't a mom get a break around here??). Needless to say, we were up and at 'em bright and early so I thought it would be a great idea to get to the store EARLY so it wasn't a pain in the ass, you know, when everyone is there. Jackets are on, we're ready to head out the door. Where are my keys? No really, where are my keys??? Let's see...I drove last night but Zach used them to move my car....I spend 30 minutes looking EVERYWHERE for them and then it hits me: he probably stuck them in his jacket pocket and is now wearing the jacket. On his way to Florida. Are you kidding me??? What am I going to do for the next 4 and a half days with NO WAY TO GET ANYWHERE??? I have to have carseats. I don't want to buy carseats. How could he do this to me??? I try to call him but of course, his flight is actually on time so he's already left Memphis. I interrogate my poor children, "I need you to tell mommy the truth here. Have either of you touched my keys??" Of course, no one will claim to have touched them in the last 6 months at this point. It may have been my frazzled hair or possibly the tears that scared them, but I'll never really know why they couldn't just have answered the question honestly. At almost 11 the husband calls and swears he doesn't have said keys. He knows he left them on the cabinet in the living room, however, they are NOT there now. It's then I turn my head slightly and see something under the couch. And there they are. How in the world could I have looked everywhere but under the couch???

Needless to say I spent the morning completely stressing out only to feel like a douche bag in the end. Awesome.

I'm Back! Who's Excited?!

2010-04-13T07:22:00.001-05:00

Okay, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here and I've got no reason other than I haven't felt like it. But here I am. This should make you very happy. Indeed.

So what has been going on around here for the last month? Quite a bit. We celebrated Easter. We went to the church Easter egg hunt on Saturday, followed by the one at our house on Sunday morning, after church. Ryder even atended his very first service and the fact that he behaved was an Easter day miracle.

Miss Emmerson, church egg hunt

Aidan, Emmerson & Ryder

The fam

My stinky boys

Aidan, Ryder & Emmerson

And we've lost one...

Last weekend we finally had Ryder baptized. He absolutely DID NOT want to sit through service and spent his time kicking off his shoes, screaming, trying to yell "echo" and running to the front. It was miserable at best. But he was great for the actual baptism and we were so thankful that our family and close friends could be there. After church we invited everyone over for lunch (I'll post that on my other blog sometime today).

My little man-face

Rev. Amy & our little family

Almost there - He liked the water!

Yay Ryder!

Sharing him with the congregation.

And the biggest happening for the last month - we're moving! So we have been busy getting our home ready to sell and doing all of the projects we have put off because we can always find something more fun to do. Zach spent Saturday changing out faucets and light fixtures while I cleaned. We've had the dining room and kitchen painted and today the living room will be on that list. I need to get stuff packed up today which I've actually been dreading just because I'm not sure where to start. Ugh. But we are really excited to make the move and hope to have our house sold quickly.

Zach is out of town. Again. He was supposed to be home tonight but now he won't be back until tomorrow night at the earliest. He's been traveling a ton lately and I am ready for him to be home for a couple weeks in a row, although he'll be gone for most of next week. Hopefully we'll find some time to open the pool and finish up things around here so we can sell this house. It's all about time people. And we don't ever seem to have enough. Ha!

Nothing Like a Couple of Sick Kiddos

2010-03-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

I've neglected this little blog of mine and I don't even have an excuse, other than I've actually been busy lately. And having some naps. What can I say? I'm a sucka for sleep. And I really don't see that changing anytime soon.

Last week Ryder took a midnight trip to the ER with what we thought was an asthma attack. Turned out to be croup, which we've never had before. Happy to report he's doing much, much better and is back to his old self. Here's a look at him at the hospital:

Hello ladies.

I have it on good authority he was flirting the entire time he was there and that all the ladies loved him. I think we're in trouble with this one.

Saturday night Emmerson fell asleep in the chair and Zach took her upstairs to bed around 10:45. All of a sudden he's yelling, "MOM! MOM! We're puking!!!" And just like that, she's thrown up all over herself, and her bed. We get her in the bath, the bedding stripped down and put her into our bed, with a puke bowl, and she does it again. All over our bed. Repeat the above steps. Change sheets. Repeat puking all over the bed. The bath. Changing the sheets. Now, you may be thinking that we are not quick studies and that surely we could figure out something other than letting her puke in our bed. Twice. But no. Needless to say, she did learn to actually hit the bowl and we stayed clean the rest of the night. Which is a really good thing considering she was sick about every 15 minutes, until 5am. While I sprung into action (I've got reflexes like a cat, even while pregnant.) every 15 minutes, the husband sawed logs on the couch. The whole night. She was fine about noonish on Sunday and as to date, no one has since been sick.

In other news, Ryder has become obsessed with his Jayhawk jammies (no comments necessary about the game, folks. We're fans. Win or lose.)

Typically he doesn't wear the ruby red slippers but they did add a little something special, don't you agree? I won't let him wear the jammies, or the shoes, when we go out so he puts the jammies on as soon as we get home. Thankfully this obsession does not include the shoes. They were a one time gig for him. I'm hoping his fashion sense gets a little more trendy the older he gets.

And finally, we've acutally had some nice weather, after our snow storm on Saturday. So here are some pictures of the kiddos playing outside yesterday. Enjoy!

Note Emmerson's fashion statement with the boots. Sassy.

It's 12:15am

2010-03-18T00:18:00.000-05:00

It's 12:15am and Zach is at the hospital with Ryder Grey who woke up having an asthma attack. Tried to get it under control here which clearly didn't happen, hence the trip to the ER. That damn RSV when he was only a month and a half old really jacked up his little lungs. My poor little dude. Here's to getting it under control ASAP at the hospital.

Nothing Says Party Like Elmo

2010-03-08T15:57:00.002-06:00

I am happy to report that Grey Day was feeling much better by Saturday. The great news is Zach stayed out of trouble because of his quick recovery. I was prepared to welcome him home with a karate chop but it turned out unnecessary. I'm sure he has no idea how lucky he is.

Since everyone was healthy as a horse on Saturday, we had a rockin' morning at Sesame Street Live. And I'd like to let you all know those people are EVIL. Sesame Street crap EVERYWHERE. Overpriced Sesame Street crap, at that. The $15 ballerina doll, that I refused to buy, sent Emmerson (aka Cheech) into orbit which was especially fun to deal with. Her brother, Ryder Grey (aka Chong) is every bit boy and thought it was more fun to try to run away from me than to watch the show. His shining moment? Refusing to share the ginormous popcorn we got with anyone and SCREAMING when anyone tried to get their hands in there. Such a little shit. All the while, Caitlin sat there like a big girl, watching the show, never begging or melting down for anything. I'm certain my children are a direct reflection of the child my husband was.

Before the show. When I thought things were going to be easy.

Aimee & Caitlin (Who's behavior was ridiculously perfect. Show-off.)

My Rockin' Friday.

2010-03-05T20:41:00.000-06:00

When I woke up this morning I was certain this Friday was totally going to kick ass. I made my grocery list last night so we could drop Aidan off at school and get our weekly grocery store trip out of the way first thing. I was prepared. So that's what we did. Dropped off Aidan, went to the store. And the rest of the morning was good. The weather was even nice enough that I opened up the house. Hello spring. Welcome back.

It was right before lunch that our day took a turn. It had to do with Ryder's diaper. And what was in it. I'll put it this way - It had to hurt him since it hurt my nose. It was the beginning of the end for us. About 8 more of those diapers followed, as well as an incident that involved curdled milk on the bathroom floor. I still haven't been able to get the puke smell out of the bathroom. It's horrible. What does it take?

Have I mentioned that Zach conveniently took Aidan to a wrestling tournament. Out of town. So here I am, praying that Em and I don't get this. And that Ryder will sleep through the night. And wake up feeling fine. I mean, we have tickets to see Seseame Street Live tomorrow. Who wants to miss that, right?

Want to Know What I Did Last Night?

2010-03-03T14:13:00.000-06:00

2:41am: Wake up to Ryder yelling, "MamAAAA! I need chuuuu."
2:43am: Wonder why the boy who was sleeping through the night is on night 2 of waking up at this time.
2:44am: Ryder yells, "MaMAAAAAAAAAA! I need chuuu."
2:44am: Get out of bed and head to the bathroom because, of course, now I have to pee. Immediately. Emergency.
2:45am: I'm not moving fast enough. Ryder yells that he needs mikly.
2:45am: Head to the kitchen to get said milk. Whatever it takes to get him back to sleep. You want some candy? Have it kid. Just go back to sleep.
2:46am: Milk delivery. Peek in Emmerson's room to make sure she's gone to bed. Find this:

Take about 10 deep breaths and tell myself that if she wants to remove ALL of her clothes from her dresser she can pick them up in the morning.

2:47am: Ryder now wants to go downstairs. I'm not amused. Compromise by having a little rocky. Tell myself it's aonther way to bond with my little man face.
2:51am: Ryder says, "I go sleep mama." THANK GOD!!!
2:51am: Back in bed. Oddly enough, feel wide awake. Wonder if this is a joke.
2:55am: Husband is snoring peacefully beside me. I find this rather annoying.
2:56am: Nudge husband. Maybe if he stops snoring I'll go back to sleep.
2:59am: Still wide awake. Thinking that perhaps I will have a nap tomorrow since I'm clearly not getting enough sleep. Why should I give up these naps anyhow?
3:04am: Start a checklist in head of things to get done around the house. On the list so far: clean flower beds, wanescoating in baby's room, 2 new twin beds for Cheech & Chong, new shoes for the boys and figure out a way to get kids to SLEEP.
3:07am: Mind wanders back to Ememrson and why in the hell she just. won't. go. to. sleep. What have I ever done to her? Wonder why she clearly hates me. I mean, she's only 3. What in the hell has been so rough in her life? Not enough My Little Pony's or what?
3:11am: Look at clock and instantly feel pissed that I'm still awake. Husband is still snoring. Ryder is back to sleep. I'm still awake. This sucks.
3:15am: Puppy starts scratching in kennel. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Shut up puppy. Or you'll sleep outside tomorrow.
3:18am: Puppy finally shuts up. Guess who's still awake? Yeah, me.
3:25am: Starting to feel sleepy again. Yippee! I might be able to go back to sleep. Begin to beg for sleep...
4am: Zach's alarm goes off. He has a 5:30 flight to catch. He turns it off and keeps snoring.
4:10am: Nudge Zach and tell him he better get up or he'll miss the damn flight.
4:45am: Kiss from hubby. He's out. Bet he sleeps on the plain. Jackass. Everyone sleeps but me.
7:15am: Ryder is yelling, "MamAAAA!!! I need chuuu!" Wonder if I will ever get a full nights sleep again...already planning a nap for the day.

Wiening Myself off the Naps. It Ain't Easy.

2010-03-02T15:12:00.000-06:00

So I'm on day 2 of no naps. This is NOT as easy as one would think it should be. Seriously. I'm hopeful that after a week without my beloved naps that A. My house will be rockin' clean and B. I'll be able to stay up later than 8pm. These are my hopes. I figure if I'm going to give them up then at least I'll be productive again. You know, doing things like laundry, cleaning floors, finishing the painting I started about a month ago and never got back to. Those things that I put off when I would much rather sleep. You may think I'm joking but I'm pregnant, have 3 kids, 3 dogs and do consider sleeping a dear hobby of mine. It's something I excel at. But this week I am saying so long daily naps. Hello productivity.

Emmerson has decided, again, that going to bed at night is for the birds. Last night she came downstairs at 10:30, bright eyed and bushy tailed, telling me she couldn't sleep. It's like a joke. A bad one. An annoying one. Why hasn't she inherited my love of sleep? She loves shoes as much as I do, why not the sleep? What is wrong with that girl???

So I forgot to tell you all that when my husband and I went to the George concert we had dinner at the Old Mill Tasty Shop beforehand. And we found some killer parking (for only $6 bucks. SCORE!) right across the street from the Old Mill. We get inside and he realizes he doesn't have his keys. This is not unusual since he looks them in his truck about every 2 weeks but rather...a bit annoying. I wait in line while he runs to check. When he gets back I'm all like, "So, were they in there???" He replies, "Well yes. In the ignition. And it was running." WHAT THE???? "How in the hell did you get out of the truck and LEAVE IT RUNNING?" And you know what he comes back with? "How did YOU not notice?" No answer for that one. And that's not the point. The point is, he did.

Who's the Fun Ruiner Now?!

2010-02-22T14:44:00.000-06:00

Friday night my husband took me on a date. Sometimes he likes to do that because he is a smart man. So anyhow, we had dinner at the Old Mill Tasty Shop (hellooo tomato bisque and chocolate shake), followed by a CONCERT (One of my very favorite things to do. Ever.). He's a good husband. Even when he man over-boards me with the kids and the dogs. The great news about the concert - George Straight was the headliner. The bad news? We had to sit through Lee Ann Womack & Reba. I know. Many of you LOVE-LOVE-LOVE Rebs, but I'm just not a fan. So after that, we finally got to hear Georgie. It was awesome. He is amazing. And I love him more after seeing him live than I did before. There was one small incident, because they do seem to follow us. We were standing up because A. We were at a concert and B. Because we were rockin' to George. You know what happened next? We were screamed at for standing. At a concert. Really? I mean, these people SCREAMED at us and I had to hold Zach back. Okay, I didn't really have to hold him back but he was pissed. And he may or may not have raised his voice. Needless to say, we ended up sitting the entire concert. And I think that's stupid. But I still loved George. Not more than my husband though.

Wedding reception Saturday night. Fun. Made me want to relive my own since it was awesome. I say that not just because I think so but because word on the street is it was one of the most fun receptions most of our friends have ever been to. My dad made sure I had a wonderful day. He pretty much rocks (when he isn't stressing me completely out). So this reception Saturday...We got to catch up with lot's of friends we haven't seen in a while, which is always fun. No dancing though which was disappointing since I did wear my dancing shoes, but whatev. We had 2 nights out in a row. Big weekend for us. Next thing you know, we'll be going on vacation.

Please Excuse Me While I Have a Meltdown...

2010-02-18T14:52:00.000-06:00

I know, I know. I was doing so well for a while and then I simply disappeared into thin air. Have you ever had a week that was, well, miserable? Yes, I spoke correctly - a WEEK. I just had one. And I couldn't bring myself to unload on you so I stayed away from posting anything. I'll tell you this much about last week - I actually verbally assalted a neighbor who yelled at me when my dogs (all 3 of them) tore down a fence board and got out of our backyard. I'm not kidding. If you would have been there it would have sounded like this, "HEY, bleep-bleep! They bleep-bleeping-bleep out of our back bleep yard." Throw in some R rated names and you get the idea. Did I mention this particular verbal assalt took place in front of my 2 youngest kids? We may be moving soon.

Remember me when you're nominating your favorite mom this year.

Not to worry. I've managed to regroup, refocus and I've pulled myself together. Even if napping with Emmerson has become more annoying than sweet since she wants to talk and poke me, rather than actually nap. My in-laws completely rescued me this week while Zach was gone (Did I mention he was out of town for 5 days when the dogs got out? That's right - just me, the kids and 3 dogs. Did I mention he was gone for 5 days?) Back to my in-laws who apparently love me more than I ever knew, even after I admitted the verbal assalt incident to them. They took the puppy for 2 nights. I actually slept for 8 STRAIGHT hours. I'm talking UN-interrupted sleep, people. The last time I slept like that was in Vegas and I assure you, I didn't get 8 hours of sleep. It was like heaven on earth. I owe them. Big time. I'm sure my MIL was not pleased (not because she didn't want to help but because the puppy makes a lot of noise at night and yes, you have to take her out. Sigh.) but she still kept the dog in an attempt to keep her grandchilren's mother from going to the looney bin. I love you MIL.

The husband surprised me by getting us tickets to see George Straight tomorrow night and I can't wait! I've always wanted to see him live. He even went one step further and lined up a babysitter. Who is this man I share a bed with? Now if we get tickets to see Tim McGraw & Lady A I will feel like I've won the lottery. Have I told you that I met Lady A, last year when I was still working in radio? Have I told you they played an acoustic show for us? Do you have any idea how awesome it was? Amazing. I love them. More than Tim. But not more than my husband.

Me & Lady A.

(Not my best picture but whatever. I still met them.)

I must pick up boy wonder shortly. And I need to change a diaper. And make Emmerson put her clothes back on since she just HAD to put her jamma's on again. And figure out what I am going to make for dinner since I have a 5:30 meeting.

..my work is never done.

Attitudes, Oh My

2010-02-09T21:41:00.000-06:00

This morning my sweet, little girl woke up...grumpy. Maybe it was a dream that made her wake up in a tizz, maybe I really did do something to piss her off...I'll never really know. What I do know is that if her childhood is a glimpse into what the teenage years are going to be like, I'm definetely going to have to get my own place. I just don't see how there is going to be enough room for both of our attitudes under one roof. And let's face it, Zach's had plenty of practice dealing with me that she should be a breeze for him. I feel I'll be doing us all a favor.

In pregnancy news, I have heartburn pretty much all the time now. My favorite thing about being pregnant? Living off of Tums. Really. They come in tropical, smooth melts now and they are delish. And since the ONLY time I have ever had heartburn in my entire life is while pregnant, it's the only time I get to enjoy them.

Tomorrow we are going for our sonogram which I am excited about. However, this time we are not going to check out the babies business. This is kind of a anti-climatic sonogram since we won't walk away knowing who's in there. We'll make sure the baby is developing as it should be and make sure my due date is acurate though. Perhpas I can find a really fun way to share that news?....

This is a short post but I'm tired and since all 3 kids are down, I am going to take advantage of this and put myself to bed now.

T

Gimme.

2010-02-04T14:38:00.000-06:00

I'm curious how other parents tackle the issue of the "I wants" which all of my children suffer from. Horribly. I understand that most kids all pretty much want everything their little hearts desire and that mine are probably not much different than every other kid, but we are doing our best to teach them that just because they want something doesn't mean they are going to get it. I mean, really, if we all got whatever we wanted I'd be keeping my shoes and handbag obsession satifsfied on a weekly basis.

I typically take the kids with me to the store which ~~is a highlight of the week for me~~ can be challenging, to put it mildly, since every 6 steps they are telling me they "want" something. I try really hard not to bribe my kids because I want them to do what is expected of them becuase it is the right thing to do, rather than doing what is expected because of what they will get (I know, what world do I live in, right?). With that said, I am not saying I have not bribed them on occasions because, really, what mom hasn't?

I understand we live in a society where the newest thing is the best thing to have, but we are trying to teach our kids to appreciate what they have, rather than expect to upgrade everytime something new is available. I don't feel guilty telling my kids "no" because I feel that is my job as their parent, and I don't feel bad if they don't get every single thing they want. I know from expericence not a one of them will die if they don't get something they "want".

I feel they learn more of a lesson when we hold off on the upgrade, or whatever it is, when it is simply a want. I don't want to be the parent who over-indulges their kid on a regular basis. I want my kids to grow up appreciating what they have. That doesn't mean that they don't get new toys, just becuase. but we try to make that the exception, not the rule.

I realize there are a lot of parents who don't tell their children no, who make sure they have the latest toys, phones, or whatever, and who probably think that we are old fashioned and maybe even, gasp! mean. But you know what? I don't care. What I care about is raising kids who appreciate what they have and who do the right thing because it is excpected of them - you know, just like when you grow up. Can you imagine going to work and telling your boss you'll only finish your work if he upgrades your phone?

I know my way doesn't work for everyone and I don't expect it to. I'm not saying other ways are wrong, either, I'm just explaining how we do things in our home.

So I'm curious what you do to handle the "wants" in your family. Do you give in more often than you tell them no? Or do you make them save their own money or wait until a birthday? What do you do to manage the gimme's?

We're Busy

2010-02-01T14:07:00.000-06:00

Emmerson has been going to bed without any issues for two whole weeks and I couldn't be happier. I love that we can read a couple of books and she'll go right to sleep. No tears. No stalling. No frustration. Even Ryder is starting to jump on the bandwagon. We discovered he prefers the closet light on when he sleeps and if that means he'll go right to sleep, the closet light shall shine on.

Wednesday one of my dearest friends from junior high and high school is coming to visit and I am so excited. We haven't seen each other in probably 8 years and I can't wait to meet her little people, who happen to be almost the exact age as my own. It will be so much fun for Ryder and Em to meet some new friends and I am looking forward to catching up with Mel.

This weekend we have our wrestling club's tournament so that will occupy most of our time. Zach will have to help with mats on Friday night and then we'll be up early on Saturday to get started. It makes for a long day but I personally would rather help at the tables than sit all day long, doing nothing. Wrestling is a tough sport since tournaments take all day and typically your kid only wrestles once every couple of hours. When you marry a former wrestler you don't get much of a choice though. If Zach had his way, Ryder would be in a singlet this year...I expect he'll be at practice next year (and yes, he'll only be 3). Zach's a die-hard, what can I say?

We are gearing up to make the big room swap for the kiddos in the next month. We are bunking Emmerson & Ryder together so Aidan can keep his own space, although he's moving to a different bedroom since he currently has the biggest. I really want to get Em & Ry settled before the baby arrives so it is one less life change for them to deal with. Plus, I have a feeling it is going to take some work to get them down at night if they are sharing a room. I'm envisioning two little people who want to play rather than stay in bed and sleep, especially since they have begun spending so much time playing together lately. Yes, I'd like to work out these kinks before the baby gets here. What can I say? I'm a planner.

And speaking of the baby...I've finally begun to feel him/her move, which is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. It's like a secret, especially when I'm still the only one who can feel it. I feel so blessed to be having another baby and I can't wait to meet him/her.

We are looking forward to a great week, and I plan to get some projects done around the house. Hopefully, I can get started on painting the dining room, as well as finishing some touch up paint in the living room. Now I must locate the cord to the camera that I've misplaced. Again. How does that happen EVERY time I need it?

Forgiveness...Or Does Anger Control You?

2010-01-26T07:39:00.001-06:00

Hey Minnesota - since you have been on first thing this morning, and I did promise an update for you yesterday, I figured I better keep my word. Thanks for checking back regularly and thanks for following!

So lately Emmerson has been going right to bed and Ryder has been the one giving us all the trouble, which is frustrating since he's always gone right to sleep. Last night we get them both in bed and come down to watch the KU game (Rock Chalk Jayhawk!) when we start hearing this: Ryder, "DaDA!" Emmerson, "MaMA!" "DaDA!" MaMA!" "DaDA!" "MaMA!" It was hilarious - back and forth they went while Zach and I stood at the bottom of the stairs cracking up. It kind of reminded us of the beer commercial, "less filling," "tastes great". They are such funny little people and I am so thankful for the laughter they bring into our lives every day.

I try so hard to let things go and not hold onto grudges that weigh me down. I have a girlfriend who is such a good example of doing just this and I am always amazed at the things that she lets roll off her shoulders. That doesn't mean things don't hurt her or upset her or just piss her off, but she has an uncanny ability to just let. it. all. go. If we are living as Christians than this is really what we should be doing but so many people are unable to forgive. I know that when I've held onto anger and resentment it has drug me down in all areas of my life and makes life, well, miserable. I'm not claiming that I am able to offer forgiveness without challenges, or sometimes even easily, but what I've found is that my life is a much better place when I tend to move past the negativity. And that extends to moving beyond any negativity in my life whether it be unhealthy relationships and friendships, people who are nothing but negative or jobs that make me miserable. If I learned nothing else from losing my mom when I was just 24, I learned that life is too short to spend unhappy and holding onto anger.

I'm not perfect in letting it all go but I do strive to live my life in a way that is a good example to my children, which includes my attitude in all aspects of my life, as well as how I treat others. Like everyone else, there are times my anger gets the best of me and I hold onto that anger entirely longer than necessary. What I am saying is that I am aware of how this not only affects me, but the people who surround me (especially my children), and I do my best to let it go. To offer forgiveness. To move beyond. I'm no where near perfect (and I don't try to be perfect) but I do strive to be the best version of me that I can am able. Which means I don't judge others who are unable to do the same - I understand we all move at our own pace when it comes to moving beyond and it is not my place to say what is right or wrong. I only know what is best for me and do what is best for me and my family.

How do you let anger control your life? Are you able to offer forgiveness and allow yourself to move beyond? How have you been able to let it go?

Tiffany